


The Distant Storm

by retrovertigo (ellameno)



Series: The Great Fire [21]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Awkward Tension, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Families of Choice, Family Dinners, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Light Angst, Motherhood, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parenthood, Recovery, Robot/Human Relationships, Slow Burn, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Vacation, flustered Nick Valentine, me getting on my antifa soapbox again, that seems like a good tag from here on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-01-07 21:37:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21224597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellameno/pseuds/retrovertigo
Summary: Vengeance has been served and our detectives need a hard-earned break, but new developments call for all of Nora's law school wits.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Happy Halloween, it's been awhile, but I kept my promise! This is the first update of another long installment. We're now in Phase Two of my giant outline, so take that as you will.
> 
> **CW** for discussion of suicide ideation in the context of recovery

Against Nick’s better judgement, here they were, in Diamond City. Sure, it was home, and ensured Nora had a proper bed before her trip back to her cul-de-sac, but— 

“That’s all it took?” Piper sputtered. “Just _blam-blam,_ over and done with?”

— At least the wastes didn’t have snooping journalists making a weary gal relive her most recent trauma.

Nick was moody about it all, but the celebratory air inside Publick Occurrences made Nora beam, like she was the subject of a ticker tape parade. Piper puppeteered Nora’s arms from behind, throwing inelegant punches.

“Blue! Is! Bad! Ass!” she chanted with every move.

“I’m not, though.” Nora giggled.

“Yeah you are!” Nat cheered back with all her childhood gusto.

“Piper, please.” Ellie sighed as she tried to wrangle the reporter. “One of you is going to pull something.”

Maybe Nick just wanted more time alone with her, to sort through the rollercoaster they’d been on the past few days in the comfort of home. But who was he to deny her a victory lap?

Piper settled down after the four had eaten their takeout on the Wrights’ floor, and Nora gave a very abbreviated summary of prior events. Once the discussion reached the Memory Den, she looked to Nick in trepidation, as if asking permission to relay his own tribulations of their journey. His reply was a nervous fumble for his pack of cigarettes. Nora asked for the local gossip instead.

“Since Kellogg is yesterday’s news,” Piper started, “his old house will be on the market before you know it. You could rent it.”

Nick’s proverbial heart leapt, imagining a life where Nora was always a stroll away. He accidentally met eyes with Piper, who gave him a smirk.

Nora let out a nervous chuckle. “I don’t really think I’d want to... Not in the place where…” She abruptly lifted her chin like she was keeping the bad memories at bay. “Well, I mean, he was keeping my son captive in it. Shaun probably wouldn’t want to live there again, anyway.”

“In any case,” Ellie added, “Nick can’t afford to pay her an Institute salary. Like you say; if they make counterfeit people, then they can make counterfeit caps.”

Piper’s brow furrowed. “Aw yeah, good point, Ellie.”

Nat peered at Nora. “So that weird kid was your son?”

“Nat!” Piper shouted.

“What?” The tween hissed in defense. “He was super weird, like a robot.”

_ “Natalie, oh my God," _she mouthed.

“I’m not being mean. She likes robots!” The Wrights looked to Nick, waiting for him to take a side. Normally there’d be a joke or a scolding word, but instead the sentiment buzzed in his brain.

How much did she _ like _ robots?

Piper appeared concerned by Nick avoiding his usual disciplinarian role, and turned back to her sister.

“You’re not old enough to even understand how insensitive you’re being.” She jabbed a finger in the air. “Say you’re sorry like an adult, or you have to go to your room _ like a baby_.”

Nat winced with confusion. “Sorry.”

“Kids called me weird too,” Nora said, something distant in her tone. “Guess it runs in the genes.” She took a long drink, resulting in an uncomfortable pause and darting eyes.

“_ So, _ gossip.” Ellie laughed nervously. “Summer gossip, you know, there’s always something… Um—”

Nat snapped out of her sulking. “There was a guy looking for you,” she said to Nora.

Piper slapped her knees. “Oh yeah! Speaking of weirdos, _ this guy_.”

“Let me guess,” Nora replied blandly. “Sunglasses.”

“No, he was in a radiation suit,” Nat said. 

“No, he wasn’t; it was orange,” Piper corrected. “An orange jumpsuit, kinda like yours, Blue.”

“Big guy,” Nat added.

“Yeah,_ ridiculous _.”

“Don’t say that,” Ellie said. “He was handsome, all rugged like...” Piper made a disgusted noise. “I thought maybe he was a suitor,” she said coyly to Nora.

The notion shook Nick out of his silence and he let out a harsh laugh.

Piper’s demeanor changed back to amusement. “Wow, jealous much?”

“Oh, if he was a suitor, she and I wouldn’t be friends no more.”

“Valentine’s got some opinions, doesn’t he?” Piper said to Nora.

“If it’s who I think it is, he’s Brotherhood,” Nora replied.

“Annnnnd we don’t like them?” Piper asked, raising a brow.

“I sure as hell don’t,” Nick said.

Piper straightened up. “If that’s the consensus, I might have to brainstorm a new opinion piece in the papers.”

“It ain’t wise to write ill of an authoritarian regime,” Nick warned.

“What’s an authoritarian again?” Ellie asked.

“People who like law and order a little too much.”

Piper looked smug. “So like, a lawyer and a cop?”

Nick made a throaty sound and pinched his brow. He still carried regrets about his past life. That naïve belief that he could fix things through example had been his downfall.

“It’s more systematic than that,” Nora said.

“Fish rots from the head, etcetera,” Nick muttered.

“Ooh, you don’t want to get into this, do you?” Piper chided.

“_No._”

Ellie gave Piper a warning nudge. She replied with an eye roll, but moved on. “So what’s the deal with this Brotherhood guy? He seemed kind of like obsessed with you. Not in a bad way.”

“Have you ever made a friendship you really regret?” Nora asked.

“No, I don’t waste my time on regrets,” she said flippantly.

“So it’s like being friends with Piper?” Nat said.

“Wow. Nat._ Goodnight,_” Piper ordered.

Nat fumed. “_Really? _”

“Natalie, don’t you have school tomorrow?” Nick asked.

“Piper never had to go to school!”

“Don’t you want to be smarter than your big sister?” Nora asked.

Nat stopped, and then slowly got to her feet.

“Oh that’s cold, Blue.”

“But effective.”

\---

Before long, the adults grew tired. Nora and Ellie headed to their bunks in the agency down the way, while Piper sat on her porch for a late night cigarette with Nick. He remembered how he used to pry them from her mouth back when she was just a trouble-making teen— until he had realized that telling Piper to do anything sensible was a losing battle.

Things had seemed so hard back then, and he had felt outcast enough to find true escapism in wrangling misbehaving orphans. Now that warring factions had turned the world upside down, it all seemed quaint instead. But at least he wasn’t lonely anymore.

“Nick, are you OK?” Piper asked.

“Hmm?”

“You’re just... You’ve been staring at her _ a lot _ tonight. Like you’re gonna... grab her.”

He cringed. “I have?”

“Did something happen? Like…” Piper leaned in closer. “Did something _ happen?” _ she asked more suggestively.

The voices in his head, whether his own or not, were none of her business.

“Look,” Nick muttered. “Who among us has killed the man who murdered our spouse?”

Piper’s eyes lost their gleam. “Oh. I see.”

It was the first time he really thought about it as well. How Nora had achieved the retribution that Nick had craved for sixty years.

“I’ll drop it now.” She squeezed his shoulder. 

“I… Yeah...” Nick could not find the words and instead retreated into his nervous puffings of smoke.

The most he’d told anyone was that he was still trying to find the man who pulled the trigger. He’d never revealed that this wasn’t only a forensic investigation; it was a revenge mission.

Before Nora came along, he had spent his downtime consumed by those files he hid under the bed. Once a poetic place to revisit the mysteries that ‘kept him up at night’, now a sacred one where she slept. And those things had laid forgotten. But only just. The dust had not grown thick enough and now was disturbed by the breath of a busybody.

\---

After so many months in the wasteland, Nora’s body had become more accustomed to foot-travel. Fewer breaks and a brisker pace shaved hours off her commute, and she pined less for cars and buses and trains. Though on a warm day like today she didn’t pass up napping in the back of a brahmin cart, dreaming upon sacks of goods that smelled of wheat and earth.

At midday, they reached the last hill that lead to the cul-de-sac. Her feet finally called out for mercy, but she pressed on, guided by the smell of cooking. 

“I wish I could pay someone for a foot rub,” Nora said after they entered the gate, feeling the calluses thickening on her sole. “My butler has three hands but I want none of them near my f—” 

Nick grabbed her by her shoulders, pulling her off the street. She stumbled backwards into a neighbor’s side yard, ending up pinned between him and the wall. Stunned, she stared at him, but he was preoccupied with something around the corner.

“There’s a Brotherhood soldier outside your house,” he muttered.

Nora returned to her senses. “What?” she hissed. “D— Danse?”

“No, it ain’t him.” He took a pensive step back, and she took one forward, swooning from the sun and her heart rate. “What do ya wanna do?” He looked her over. “_ Hun, _ you look ill. You alright?”

“I’m just— ” She swallowed. “I’m trying to find my head.”

“Listen, I…” He fumbled for his firearm. “If you want to use your agent know-how and saunter over like nothin’s amiss, I’ll duck into the house across the street and cover you in case it goes south.”

“You can’t get in the front door without being seen from mine. You’d have to climb in the back window.”

“That’s doable. You wouldn’t believe the places I’ve gotten into.” His anxious voice betrayed his words. She gave a nod, and he clapped her on the shoulder before stepping over a garden fence.

As her stomach tied in knots, Nora tried to find her senses. She’d had bullets flying at her in unfamiliar territory, mutated beasts snapping their ferocious jaws at her— Hell, she’d just killed the most dangerous man in the wasteland. Twice, kind of.

Still, something about facing a military trooper in close quarters made her lose her nerve. Even now she couldn’t imagine outmaneuvering Nate. But the only muscle truly needed for this was her brain. She held her breath and continued on around the bend, trying to remember how to walk like a person who wasn’t hiding a huge secret.

Nora exhaled once she recognized the soldier. Scribe Haylen. The nicest of the bunch.

As soon as Nora was in her sight, Haylen sprung to life. “Hello, ma’am.”

“H— Hey,” Nora said, less casual than she would’ve liked. The other woman didn’t seem to notice.

“Sorry to be camped out like this. Danse was going to swing by originally, but after he couldn’t find you in Diamond City, he got called to a very important mission.”

Nora nodded with stiff shoulders. Haylen continued to grin back at her. “So what’s... up?”

“Yes!” Haylen cleared her throat. “Well. I’m sure you must have noted our dramatic entrance. Our Elder is wise for his age but he expected your people would, ah, be _ enthused _ to see us and not so terrified. In hindsight, we should have assumed a bunch of farmers and militia wouldn’t know what a real military looks like. I bet you understood, being the wife of a soldier yourself,” Haylen said eagerly, to which Nora gave a strained smile. “S— Sorry, that was tactless to bring up.”

“It’s fine, I’m…” Nora shifted her weight. “I’m back from traveling and exhausted.”

“Right. Sorry. I, well, as I said before, I wasn’t the originator of this message but I’m sure you’re aware that Paladin Danse is very keen on you.” She suddenly appeared flustered. “I mean. Joining up, that is.”

“Oh, I— ”

Haylen raised her hand. “I know you’re tied up with these Minutemen, but I’ve heard those stories about you on the radio, being out there helping people— With the Commonwealth in a tizzy we all agree that your association with us would be quite the endorsement. Then they’d know we’re truly here for good.”

“I told Danse before, I’m not suited for military service— ”

“Consider it more of a, uh, symbolic gesture? You could accompany us on a few clean-ups. Probably easier having true soldiers at your command than farmers.” Nora opened her mouth again. “You don’t have to decide now, it’s just an offer.”

“I thought you were all maybe…” Nora shrugged, “leaving town.”

Haylen clutched her chest. “Oh _ no. _ Not with the Institute doing what they are. It’s gotten worse, I’ve heard. Chrome-domes walking out in the open. Such scary times, ma’am, it’d be criminal for us to pack up and leave in this time of need.” She moved her hand to Nora’s shoulder. “And I know you’re in great need, too.” 

“I’m doing OK— ”

“Yes, but are you thriving? We women want to do everything on our own, but the family that the Brotherhood has given me is something I wouldn’t trade for all the riches in the world.” Haylen’s grip tightened. “Were you our sister, I know we would spare no expense to finding your boy as we take down the Institute together.”

“That’s a generous offer but I…” Nora politely shirked away from Haylen’s grasp. “I really think my friends and I have it covered.”

“Yes. Friends.” Haylen still smiled, but she looked concerned. “There are many dangers here in the wasteland, it— And not to…” She stopped herself. “No, that’s not my place to say. But you are very clever, I know, and our mentorship will make you even more efficient.” 

“That’s flattering, but—” Nora readjusted her bag. “Like I said, I just got back from a really long trip and I…”

“I’m keeping you from your rest. Forgive me.” She took a step aside and Nora cautiously grasped the door handle, almost fearing an ambush inside. “I see your, uh... Your lodgings are decent, but Danse would love to show you the Prydwen.”

Nora turned back to look at her. “The... What?”

Haylen was smiling again. “Our airship.”

She knew Nick would never want her on board, alone and helpless on a military craft. But she could hear Deacon’s nagging voice. An in.

Nora took a breath. “I guess like everyone else, it is intriguing.”

“Is it?” Haylen seemed pleased. “I know they’re likely a mundane sight from your time—” She paused. “Would you like to stop by the police station this week? We can fly you straight there from the roof.”

“This week? No,” Nora blurted.

“No?”

“I…” She rubbed her temples. “Listen. I’ll... How ‘bout I radio you?”

“Yes. Yes! Just call in, uh... ask for me. Um, ask for Haylen—”

“I know your name.”

“Oh.” She seemed flattered. “Oh I just, I wasn’t— Mrs…”

“Nora is fine,” she said hastily.

“Sister,” Haylen said fondly.

“Haven’t agreed to that.”

“Oh, but I _ feel it _. I know you have a heart for humanity, just like us.” She saluted. “Till we meet again.”

“Yeah,” Nora croaked, feeling her insides twisting. 

Without turning her back as she entered her home, Nora closed the door and forced herself to breathe again.

As she peered through the door’s window, Haylen disappeared over the bend without so much as a glance back. The curtains across the street moved and Nora could make out the dim glow of Nick’s waiting gaze. She removed all her gear except her weapon, and once Haylen was out of the gate, Nora headed straight for him.

Nick leaned out the window as she reached it. “So.”

“Did you hear any of it?” Nora asked.

“Not so much the words, but _ boy _, she’s as chipper as a june-bug, huh.”

“Those people are out of their minds.” Nora ran her hand through her hair. “They’re like... a cult who thinks they’re going to bring love and peace, but by shooting anyone who’s different.”

“That’s called fascism.”

“She’s really nice, though, I felt bad.”

“Ah!” Nick warned. “That’s how they get ya.”

“You sound like Deacon,” she glowered.

He gave a small shrug. “At least he’s a goofball and not a fascist.”

Nora leaned on the window sill. “I dunno what to do, Nick.” 

“You’re not joining up, that’s for sure.”

“I can’t make them my enemy either. If I’m not an ‘ally’, what stops them from hurting you?” Nora asked. Nick said nothing. “So does that mean they’re gonna keep showing up everywhere I hang-out?”

“A better question is: who is the neighborhood jackass that let a stranger knock on your door in the first place?” He scowled. “That ain’t standard gate procedure— they won’t even let _ me _ in till Sturges gives ‘em the OK.”

Nora looked over her shoulder, but no one seemed to be around. She turned back to him. “You don’t think Brotherhood sympathizers have moved in…?” she asked under her breath. Nick shifted awkwardly. “I want this to be a safe place for you.”

“I dunno what’s-what, but I think you should ask your neighbors before you come to any conclusions.” 

The two left for the neighboring hall, and as the wind moved through the stagnant air Nora once again could smell something cooking. Her stomach grumbled but her anger took precedence. How was everyone going on, eating and being merry, when there was an intruder in their midsts?

“Hey, you’re back,” MacCready greeted from the table. The others eyed her with gentle greetings. The mercenary squinted back at her. “_Oh, she looks _— Bad news?”

“There was an armed woman camped outside my house,” Nora said bluntly.

MacCready grimaced. “Hey, I didn’t let her in.” He looked to Sturges.

“She was already here when I woke up,” Sturges replied. “The Longs had morning shift.”

“She was asking for you,” Marcy said. “You have all kinds showing up, it’s not that unusual.”

Nick frowned. “You didn’t think about tellin’ the stranger to leave a message?”

“You didn’t think maybe she was here to kill me?” Nora added.

Marcy seemed scandalized. “She’s with the Brotherhood, they’re here to help.”

Awkward looks were exchanged.

“No disrespect, Mrs. Long,” Nick said, “but last time I checked you didn’t trust outsiders, and they’re not even from the ‘Wealth.”

“No disrespect, but I’m more concerned about things that look like you.”

“Woah,” Nora bristled.

Sturges walked over. “Let’s not start that.”

Nick shrugged it off. “I get it— ”

“Don’t call him a thing, Marcy,” Nora snapped.

“I wasn’t calling him a thing— I said things that _ look _ like him.”

Jun held up a hand. “I think we can agree just because _ he’s _ a person doesn’t mean they are too.”

“And I’m just _ saying _ that the Brotherhood—” Marcy balled her fists upon the table. “They said they’re here to take on the Institute. There’s only one thing a synth that’s _ not _ him means, OK?”

MacCready crossed his arms. “I’m from the Capital too, and trust me, they have no experience with the Institute, they just have their heads up their asses.”

“The Minutemen protect this settlement just fine,” Sturges announced. “We don’t need outsiders from Capital Wasteland.”

“Let’s just agree that until things cool down we tighten our gate security,” Nora said. And she didn’t exactly want to find Deacon on her couch unannounced either. “If someone isn’t here to vouch for them, they can take shelter at the Red Rocket until someone is.”

MacCready seemed a bit agitated. “Listen, we all goofed it, I’m sorry. That said, who died and made you Mayor? I thought this was a democracy.”

“I thought this was Minutemen territory,” Marcy added.

“This is my neighborhood,” Nora said. “I was here two-hundred years before any of you.”

“And Preston can’t manage every settlement,” Sturges said. “So that’s why he left it to her.

“Brotherhood or no Brotherhood,” Nick said, still terse, “I think we need to recognize that the kid’s got some heat on her right now. If someone ain’t keen on her being the ‘girl scout’, I think she has a right to not be shot in her own kitchen. Agreed?”

“Sorry, man,” MacCready said, “I just don’t appreciate being told what to do.”

Nick narrowed his eyes. “You’re a merc; Isn’t that the deal?”

MacCready snorted. “Fine.” He held out his hand. “If you’ve got the caps.”

“Cut it out, all of you, I don’t like the fightin’,” Sturges said, getting between them. “Now I’ll say my peace, short n’ sweet: we don’t want another Quincy,” he said to Marcy, who deflated.

Nora took a sausage from the community platter with a huff.

“You good?” MacCready asked. “You’re not gonna stay mad about it, are you?”

“You can’t fault her for being mad,” Nick said, but Nora shook her head.

“You don’t have to fight all my battles for me.”

Nick stared back, but she gave him a small smile. “Yeah, of course.” Everyone continued to eat. “I’m just gonna… It’s hot out here, I’m gonna duck into your place.”

Nora nodded as she filled her tin plate with food, and everyone around her seemed to avoid her eye.

\---

Despite priding himself on being a measured and tidy person, Nick flung his hat and coat carelessly onto the sofa. He blew out the hot air trapped in his core as he paced around Nora’s dark living-room. A musty wood-rot smell hung in the air, but the clamminess was welcome.

He felt fidgety and uneasy, and _ embarrassed, _ and again confused.

“Get your head on straight,” he muttered to himself. “Calm down, you’re making yourself overheat.” Nick settled in the armchair and closed his eyes, finding an odd sort of meditation in focusing on his temperature readings.

He lost time and soon a fervid conversation neared the house. Before he could gather his senses, the side door swung open.

“-- and I told Mr Sturges, but he said to leave it be,” Codsworth said, following Nora who made her way to her bedroom. “But how can I simply_ leave it be? _ Someone with a scientific mind as her’s should not have it up in the clouds— Isolation must’ve done a number on her. A robot wanting to become human? It’s impractical— not to mention improbable. _ Oh mum_, it’s all gone sideways since you left.”

The rant continued, muffled, and Nick found himself befuddled. Codsworth soon appeared with a laundry basket, muttering to himself. He paused and studied Nick.

_“Oh,_ _gracious,_ my apologies! I hadn’t seen you there in the dark, Mr Valentine.”

“You did a fine job surveying the place while she was gone too,” Nick said.

“Was that sarcasm? I can do that too, you know. I’m_ so sorry _ I was preoccupied with suburban upkeep instead of lopping the head off a woman who refused to even speak to me.”

“I suppose that would be a bit drastic,” Nick said.

“Besides, I was hoping the dog would bite her in the bum. _ If _I could persuade him to stop uprooting my poppies.” Codsworth zipped out to the backyard. The generator then hummed and a few lights flickered on.

Nick remained in his seat, uncertain if Nora was changing or sleeping or needed his comfort, or was perhaps even upset with him. 

Eventually she emerged, wearing a large tee, linen pants, and a sullen expression. As she unpinned the protective curtains from the surrounding windows, her eyes did not meet his. Nick felt sheepish about the mess hall encounter. She’d always spoken for him when he was at a disadvantage, but perhaps she didn’t want Nick to return the favor.

“Somethin’ wrong, sweetheart?” he asked. “You’ve gone quiet on me.” Nora said nothing. “Need some space?”

“Trust no one,” Nora murmured and drew the front curtains shut again.

Nick scowled. “Hey, stop letting Secret Agent Bozo get into your head.”

Nora’s jaw tensed. “He’s hyperbolic but maybe that’s the point. You say I give too many people the benefit of the doubt, maybe I’ve opened myself up too much.”

Nick tilted his head back with a sigh. “Hun, we’ve been over this—”

“Haylen seems so nice but now I worry she’d turn on me in an instant.” Nora gestured wildly towards him; “If she saw you, do you think she would’ve done something?”

“If Danse didn’t shoot, why would Haylen?”

“’Cause she’s just a Scribe. People who feel vulnerable can sometimes be irrational.” Her arms loudly fell to her side. “You _ know this_, Nick.”

If anyone knew vulnerability, it was the woman in front of him. He couldn’t bear to think of her building a callused layer of hostility to keep herself from getting hurt.

Nick rose up to be at her side. “You be open as long as you let me be your shield.”

Her shoulders relaxed as a grateful look washed over her. “Everything is so scary and uncertain except for you. You’re my one sure thing.”

Nick chose to ignore any double meaning. “I hope that doesn’t mean you expect me to stagnate.”

She gazed back with skepticism. “OK, tell me, truthfully, how much have you changed in fifty years out here?”

“Not much,” Nick admitted. It was all hard-wired into him. “But then again, that was all before you showed up and knocked me senseless.”

Nora gave him one of her sardonic looks, taking it for simple banter. But any double meanings aside, it was true. He couldn’t figure out where his head was at anymore.

“Look, I’m sorry if I overstepped out there,” Nick continued. “I felt a little defensive, for both of us. I get nervous outside Diamond City sometimes.” He absent mindedly tugged at his sleeves. “I’m always... itching to get home, where everyone knows me... I mean _ some _ might wanna spit at my heels for what I’m made of, but at least they don’t think I’m gonna abduct them.” He nodded slowly. “But... I like it here. A lot.”

Nora gazed up at him with her chin tucked down. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I feel... I feel safe. Like once I’m in the gates I can breathe. I’d _ also _ feel weird if that changed.”

“It won’t, Nick. I promise.” There was no ire in her big eyes, and he felt at peace.

Nora moved his mess of outerwear from her sofa to her coat rack, before retreating to her kitchen to crack open a beer. She sipped it pensively for a few minutes, leaning on the island and staring off at nothing.

“The docket has slowed, right?” Nora asked.

Nick lowered himself onto the couch where the ceiling fan hit him better. “To a halt.”

Her eyes moved to his. “Do you want to run away with me for a while?”

The question didn’t compute. Because he didn’t know what he wanted it to mean. 

He gazed back blankly. “... Excuse me?”

Her shoulders stiffened. “This house feels weird right now... like _ you’re right _; it’s got a big target on it... Can we go visit your family?”

“_My fami _ — We _ just _ got back from…” Nick thought for a moment. “You mean the Hagneys?” She nodded. He didn’t want to argue about how he saw himself more as a family friend than family member. “And get _ harassed _ again?” he asked flatly.

“It’s so much lighter than reality.” Lines formed on her face. “And maybe I want to hold a baby again, now that I know mine _ grew four-foot-five_.”

His heart sunk along with her. “You never know. You might have another one.”

“Not with Nate,” Nora mumbled. She blinked hard to keep her composure.

“OK,” Nick said quickly. “Sure, we can go see ‘em.” Anything to keep her afloat. “But you rest up first. Soak your feet, or whatever you do to relax.”

She was silent for a moment.

“I need to bake,” she said suddenly. “I need to do something normal.” Nora’s eyes searched the room. “I just want to be normal.”

Nick took a breath. “Tell me about it.”

She stared back and nearly spoke. But then thought it over and replied with a wistful smile. Nick knew deep down it was a desire they both eternally held, long before their lives in the wasteland.

Nora went to her cabinets and pulled out a few tins. “Maybe I’m lucky Shaun was taken,” she mused aloud. “It gave me a reason to keep moving, even when the grief was too much. And even if I don’t get him back I–”

“You will. You’re gonna.”

Nora nodded with firm conviction in her brow. “Either way. It gave me time to become the person I need to be... for _ him _. Otherwise maybe it would’ve just been me hiding in a Vault, with a newborn, afraid to go topside, until we both wasted away.”

He crossed his arms. “Well, I ain’t a fan of giving the Institute kudos for anything. Then again, they’re the only reason I’m tickin’. Kinda like being grateful to a crappy parent.” He winced and gave her a tentative look. Nora wore a resigned smile. “Guess you know about that.”

“Another little thing we have in common,” she said as she sifted flour. “I wasn’t really ever that grateful for it, though.”

“Me neither. Not till I met you, that is. I mean— I’m grateful that decades down the line I was here to help when you needed it.” Nick imagined all the other people who’d reached out to her since. Other factions with priceless resources. Men with warm and soft embraces. “But… Tell me as a… caretaker type yourself.” He tapped on the armrest. “Is it selfish to say that some days I don’t want to be here anymore?” he asked softly.

She looked up. “What do you mean?”

“Sometimes I don’t want to keep exist— ”

“No, why do you think it’s selfish?”

He almost felt offended by the question. “Because... I’m doing a job, a crucial one, and it shouldn’t _ be _ about me.” He sat forward. “I’m a thing. I’m a tool to a means.”

_ “That’s _ the annoying stuff that Deacon says.” She sighed. “But… I think the world is a warmer, softer place with you in it.” He gave her a sad smile. She smiled back. “But I understand how you feel. You’re allowed to feel that way, Nick.” Nora kept sifting. “Because you’re not a thing, or just a tool. You’re a complex person, like _ all of us _, and life is hard. Everyone needs to find a reason to stay.”

He knew Nora stayed for her son, but he also could see she had a genuine love for living, and for people… and those whose personhood was questioned. No matter what, _ she _ would find a reason to go on.

“I never really told anyone that before,” he admitted, feeling strangely weaker than the mortal in front of him. “I hope it’s all in confidence.”

“Everything is,” she said tenderly. “But you shouldn’t be ashamed to be honest like that either.”

He shrugged a shoulder. “I gotta keep it all together for the girls back home. I gotta be their one rock of stability,” Nick said. “Actually, they’re why I was going on. What stopped me from just... powering down.” 

Nora looked up with a furrowed brow and he waved a hand. 

“I’m not…” Nick stammered, “It’s not suicidal thoughts, it’s just..._ I don’t even get to sleep_. I meant shutting off so I can ignore the world…” His gaze fell to the floor. “Well... Maybe it is technically suicidal, ‘cause I’m not sure I’d want to wake up. Maybe I want to be somewhere else for a while. Maybe I want to lie down and dream…” He leaned his head on the chair-back and looked at her. “I just wanna be able to sleep and dream, like you.”

She gazed at him sadly. “You don’t get a mental break, do you?”

“Mmn-nmm.”

“Poor thing. I wish there was something I could do.”

“Oh, you do a lot. You’re my escapism.” 

He gave a tired smile, and she matched it. “What a coincidence. You’re my escapism too, detective.”

“Speaking of which,” he deflected, and she went back to looking through tins, “I’m half finished with those crosswords. How’d you know those were the only puzzles that challenge my damn computer brain?”

“Lucky guess?”

“It ain’t luck. You’re just a smart cookie.”

She looked back at him and there was something different in her eyes. “What kind of cookies do _ you _ like?”

“Uh.” His mind blanked as he felt flustered for no reason. “Smart ones?”

She laughed and dusted her hands. “You act like an oatmeal and raisin guy, but I think you’re more of a snickerdoodle.”

“Oh, _ right,_” he chuckled awkwardly. She eyed him. “I mean, _ you’re _ right.”

“You’re dropping words.” She put down her measuring spoon. “Is it the heat? I probably shouldn’t make it worse with an oven, huh?”

“You’re fine. You’re perfect,” he said, and gave another breathy laugh. “I’ll trade cognitive functions for the smell of dessert any day.”

It was the heat. It _ had _to be the heat.

\---

Maybe his legs were resisting the journey. Business pulled him along like a trance, wiping his mind of anxieties and his own needs, but personal excursions brought no such luxury. As their destination grew closer, he became more aware of the sun on his back, and the probing questions ahead. Looming expectations to make lies convincing, when he could hardly string thoughts and words together. But he followed out of loyalty. 

Nora seemed unperturbed by an encore performance of pretending to be in love with him. So why did he dread it? His pace fell as his temperature rose and external stimuli dithered out.

Nora spun back around in confusion. “Nick?”

He inhaled sharply. “Don’t stop for my sake; I’ll catch up.”

“Is it your knees?”

“No, no— Just gettin’ overheated.” He let out a sigh and then smiled. “I guess I never noticed how slow I move when I get like this. Never kept pace with someone on a muggy summer day till now.”

Nora reached for his hand but he pulled it away.

She wrinkled her nose. “Oh c’mon, I’m trying to help.”

“Nah, I…” He stuffed it into his pocket. “Don’t touch hot metal, kid, you’ll hurt yourself.”

“Can I take your arm then? Old man?” Nora simpered, and he frowned back. “As a scout I helped plenty of seniors across the road.”

Nick looked away. “Y’know, when you offer help, try not to insult the guy. You might get better results.”

She took his arm and Nick could feel the heat radiating from her body. It wasn’t like he needed the extra warmth on such a day, but there was something novel about it.

How often he could’ve had Nora close if he’d just pretended to need aid? But what a silly thought. And a dishonest one, at that.

“I’ve been thinking about it ever since we got on the road, and…” Nora took a breath and sighed. “We’re going to need to come clean when we see them.”

“What, about the whole fiancee thing?”

“Oh that part’s fine. Deacon’s really helped me with improv.”

“Great,” he said without enthusiasm.

“But Shaun’s going to be in the picture at some point, and knowing Yolie she’s gonna think he’s yours,” Nora joked.

“_Ha. _Maybe if he was half-robot.” He could still hear the old woman interrogating him in his mind. “But. All kidding aside, maybe that’s smart. Though... I can’t exactly tell them my ‘fiancee’ has a kid, but I’m not his step-dad.”

“Then just don’t say anything.”

“I’d feel lousy lying about that too.”

“But that’s not lying, it’s withholding information,” she insisted. “That’s what Deacon says.”

“Oh, Deacon this, Deacon that— I dunno if I want you to pick up his bad habits.”

“You know being strategic with the facts is a thing they teach in law school.” She turned to him and her voice dropped. “I was already a bad,_ bad _girl, Nick.”

“Don’t say it like that,” he said with a nervous laugh, taken off guard by her silken lower register.

“Why not, Mr. Valentine?” Nora stopped in her tracks and pulled him back with her. “You like your film noirs and femme fatales, you should be used to it.” She clutched both hands onto his arm. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

His mind blanked. “I…”

She smirked, back to her normal self. “Deacon’s got me doing characters now.” They continued walking. “He thinks it’ll help in the field if I’m not me all the time and we pass ourselves off as siblings from the circus or something.”

“Real funny stuff,” Nick said, dragging himself back to earth. Nora seemed pleased with herself and equally unaware that she was, well… alluring. “Can you do any acrobatics?”

“When I was a kid, I could do a cartwheel.”

“How ‘bout now?”

“_Eh._”

He chuckled, trying to leave _ whatever that was _ steps behind them. “Maybe I’ll say something. And I’ll ask them not to bring your past up around you. Then we won’t need any lies.”

She looked at him with interest. “You think that’d work?”

“Well, I’d like to hope that good people respect boundaries.”

Nora pulled her arm away, as if worried he’d directed the comment at her. But after resisting her so much, Nick could find no acceptable way to say that he wanted Nora’s touch to continue. Instead he simply bumped his shoulder into hers to make her laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been three long years of me posting these and I'd like to give another shout-out to those who have been here since the beginning and those of you who have just joined! Thank you so much for your kindness and support and understanding as my pace becomes inconsistent :') I went through some tough stuff this year but I think it's passed.
> 
> Plugging [my main blog](http://television-for-dinner.tumblr.com/tagged/fic+stuff), my [my art/fanworks blog](http://tommytonebender.tumblr.com). I also have a [Writing Twitter](http://https://twitter.com/retr0vertig0) that is NOT spoiler free, so follow that at your own risk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience! I'm excited to have this meaty chapter up for you before the end of NaNo!
> 
> CW for more fascism talk

Even in his human days, Nick never understood the need to procreate, nor the longing for parenthood. To him it was simply evolutionary leftovers, chemicals that ensured the future of the species. It was human nature to search for deep meaning in accidents. But from the look on Nora’s face as she gazed at the toddler, there had to be something real. At least for her. She’d never been secretive about how she herself was an ‘accident’. One her parents could not find meaning in. Maybe that was why she revered the idea of motherhood. She wanted to do it _right_.

“Can I take Cory to see the butterflies?” Nora asked as Meryl’s son wiggled happily in her arms.

“Just as long as he doesn’t try to put one in his mouth,” Meryl replied. “He’s at that phase.”

“Do you eat bugs?” Nora cooed at him as she set off towards a flower bush.

“Ma,” Meryl said, “If they need anything, take care of it for me. I’m going to take a real bath now that I’ve finally got a babysitter.”

“I’m a good babysitter,” Arlene said.

Meryl blinked back at her and then left without a word.

Nick chuckled. “You raise some good kids, for a former troublemaker.”

“The goodness they got from Lou. The sass is the punishment for all the years of mine.”

Nick could vividly recall when Meryl was a screeching toddler in Arlene’s arms, as first time grandmother Yolanda dispensed her Vault-Tec learned “wisdom”. Five generations of Hagney’s had arrived so quickly, while he remained the same, like a river washing over a stone. He watched Nora, a woman outside of time, and reminded himself that she wasn’t immune to it. 

Arlene stepped into his line of sight. She appeared concerned. “The stuff about Nora’s kid, being stolen and all... Is that true?”

“Unfortunately.”

Arlene frowned and watched Nora. “That just pricks at me in the deepest way. It must be hard enough becoming a single parent.”

“She was fragile before, but she’s doing real good now.”

“What happens when she gets him back?” Arlene gave him a tentative glance. “I mean, regarding you?”

“I’ll take on whatever role in his life she wants me to have.”

Nora’s laugh echoed as the baby insisted on reaching for her sunglasses, and Nick saw the snapshot of the life that she had wanted for herself. He’d assured her over and over that it was achievable, but until now he’d never truly known what it looked like. As usual, he watched her keenly, but this time he found himself entranced in her fantasy as if it were his own. 

“So you plan on that woman being the end of you, huh?” Arlene asked softly.

“If you mean that I plan on making sure she and her kid have the best life possible, even at my own expense, then yes.”

“Well, damn.”

“Things don’t always go according to plan, do they?” Again Nora laughed. “Or maybe they do, and they just…” He trailed off, not sure what to say.

“And how long have you known her?”

Nick’s eyes flickered to Arlene. “Less than a year,” he admitted. Arlene shook her head. “Don’t give me that.”

“No, I… You’re not like this. For anyone. You’re always looking at the big picture. What is it about her?” Arlene studied him. His gaze went to Nora, but his mind turned to fuzz.

“There’s this thing inside her…” Nick stared at the ground to collect his thoughts. “The way she breaks into a million pieces and then puts herself back together, like she’s gilded in gold…” He drew his arms close. “She makes me believe we can never be too broken. I think... I think she makes me want to live.”

There was a pause. “Well damn, Nicky. That’s... profound.”

Nick turned away. “Please don’t jump to conclusions.”

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Arlene said. “Unlike others, I can just let it be.” She looked at him again. “But y’know, Ma didn’t seem to like you dating your _client_.”

Nick scoffed. “Is that better or worse than dating a protege?”

“Lou was our farmhand before he married me, remember? The other could insinuate she’s bribing you with a lil somethin’.”

He groaned. “I really hope you all know I’m not that kind of guy. In multiple ways.”

“Well, you know Ma. Regardless about your feelings on the subject she can’t see you as anything but another human man, flaws, vices, and all.”

“If I could indulge in my biggest vice, I suppose I would.”

“And what’s that?”

“An entire raspberry cheesecake,” he said. Arlene laughed. “I bet Nora could make a mean one. And if I could taste it, I’d marry her on the spot.” He chuckled. Arlene raised her brow. “I— It was a joke, I can’t eat and it ain’t— It ain’t like being a robot is what’s stopping me.”

Arlene laughed again. “You’re fantastic at playing that role you cast for yourself.”

“Pardon?”

“Being her boyfriend, I mean. It’s convincing. You should audition for local theater.”

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna be typecast as a kitchen appliance.”

Yolanda emerged from the house and set down a tray of sweet tea on the porch railing. Her expression was grim.

“Something wrong, Ma?” Arlene asked.

Yolanda turned to Nick. “Was it truly a career criminal? That did that to her?”

“The nastiest mercenary there ever was,” he answered. The old woman continued to stare back. “Why?”

“You’re a tireless worker, Nicholas.” Her eyes narrowed with scrutiny. “I believe if it were someone so low you would’ve found him and her child by now.”

Arlene went pale. “_Ma._ He’s trying his best.”

“Is it related to the Institute?” Yolanda asked soberly.

Nick sighed and Arlene turned to him with wide eyes. 

“Yes,” he admitted.

“Cripes,” Arlene hissed.

“I understand your fears now,” Yolanda said with a kinder but still sad air.

“What do you mean?” Nick asked.

“It must be a burden to feel like you may fail the person you care for most.” She lowered herself into a wicker chair. “Is that why you won’t ask her to commit? Are you waiting for the case to be over?” 

“I suppose so.” It was an easy way out of the pressuring.

“Do you think if you fail she’ll become disillusioned with you and leave?”

“I…” Nick swallowed, demons rising up. “I dunno— I try not to think—”

“Ma.” Arlene stepped between them. “Nick and I just had a real honest talk right now and I don’t need you slicing at him while his armor is off.”

“Can’t I have an honest talk with him too?” Yolanda asked as she stirred her drink.

Arlene frowned and turned away. “Hey, Nora?” she called out. “You want some chilled sweet tea?” Nora made her way over and Arlene looked back to her mother. “That’s enough whispering behind her back, I think.”

“_Whew,_ it is muggy today.” Nora stepped up onto the poor and her brow furrowed. “What’s wrong? I sense tension.”

Yolanda turned her head dramatically. “Nothing, dear.”

“My mother was just giving advice no one asked for,” Arlene said.

Nora smiled. “When I need advice, you’ll be the first one I ask.”

“We call that ‘having boundaries’,” Nick said, and Nora flashed him a knowing look.

“Here, let me take that overgrown caterpillar from you,” Arlene said, gesturing to the grandbaby.

“I can hold a baby and drink! I mean…” Nora shifted him onto her hip. “I think I can, I never uh—”

“He’s heavier than he looks, isn’t he?” Arlene asked.

Nora laughed and traded Cory for a glass.

Yolanda peered at Nora as she sipped the straw. “Oh, poor dear, you really _did_ do a number on your lip.”

Nora tried to cover it again. “It’s fine. I think it’ll heal up enough.”

“Well, it was only a matter of time till she got scuffed up…” Yolanda turned to Nick, “like you.”

“Hopefully she won’t look as bad as me,” he dismissed. “I mean, suppose she can’t when she started out with a better canvas.”

Nora turned to him. “How many people have to tell you you’re handsome, before you believe it?”

He only wanted to believe if it was coming from her.

“I was kinda talkin’ about your innate ability to heal, but I’ll pass on your compliments to the one who sculpted me.” He craned his neck. “_Oh wait._ You plan to blow em up,” he added sarcastically.

“Not _everyone_,” Nora parried. “Case in point, I think artists are a protected class.”

He crossed his arms. “Yeah, well, guess that’s why Coco Chanel got away with being a nazi.”

“_Woof._”

“I’m lost,” Arlene said, “was that gibberish?”

Yolanda flicked her bangled wrist. “It wasn’t meant for us to understand, it’s their flirtatious inside jokes.”

“No. See— _this _is why history repeats itself,” Nick said. “Yolie, what did you learn in that Vault besides your ‘family values’?”

“That America was once the greatest country in the world,” she said wistfully.

“Yeesh. If that wasn’t debatable then, it sure is now.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yolanda crossed her arms. “That I’m uneducated?”

“I’ve said it to you before; a Vault-Tec education is more like propa—”

“Let’s not fight,” Nora said, wrapping her free arm around Nick. “I came to _get away_ from fighting,” she said close to him between her teeth. He answered with a strained noise. “Don’t you want to make me happy?”

“‘Course,” he said casually. “Don’t I make you happy by default?”

“Like no one else,” she smiled and sat down on the porch loveseat.

“Should I get another chair?” Arlene asked, as if trying to throw the fake-couple a life-raft. “It’s built for two but I dunno about a synth.”

“Your father built those chairs as sturdy as they come,” Yolanda said.

“This is fine,” Nora said, pulling Nick down with her onto the bench. “We’ve sat on worse.”

There was no difference in the closeness of her body, or where her hand laid on his knee. There was no escalation in the faux affection they had already once performed. Nora was as sweetly tactile with him as ever. And he tried to convince himself it didn’t feel different.

\---

They started dinner off with Arlene’s muscular husband carrying in an enormous tray of tapas style entrees and Nora swooned over all the aromas of masterfully prepared summer ingredients.

“Where do you get all these fresh proteins?” Nora asked as she speared peach-braised brisket onto her quinoa salad. “I can’t even get butter without paying an arm and a leg.”

“We grow feed here too,” Arlene said, “and the cattle-owners trade us for product.” She suddenly snapped her fingers at her two sons. “Tonight’s no different from usual; half veg, or else no desert. _Potatoes don’t count_.”

“Feed business is lucrative these days if you want by-products,” her husband, Lou, added. “Settlements keep sprouting up with no grazing land.”

“I’d send you home with some dairy, but it’s hellish out there,” Arlene said apologetically.

“Can we talk about stuff that’s not farming for once?” Meryl groaned.

Meryl and her little brothers begged for stories about the wasteland and the city. Nora tried to pick the ones appropriate for a young audience, and wouldn’t make the adults worry for their safety.

“— And that’s why I’ll never set foot in a quarry again,” Nick said after a heavily censored tale.

“Dad’s stories are so boring compared to yours,” Gavin said.

“They are not!” Lou replied, scandalized by his middle-child’s dismissal. “If I did the wacky things that they do, you probably wouldn’t have a dad anymore, so count your blessings.”

“Are there kids where you live?” Theo asked Nora.

“Not really, but there’s quite a few where Nick lives.”

Yolanda looked up from her chickpeas. “You don’t live together then?”

Nick narrowed his eyes. “Cohabitation is a ‘sin’, isn’t it?” Yolanda batted a dismissive hand.

Nora smiled. “Nick has his work in the city, and we go back and forth.”

“Cory is too small to play with,” Theo said, frowning at his teething nephew, only six years his junior. They reminded Nora of the giant age gaps within her family, generations of cousins blending together.

“Arlene,” Nora said, “how old were you when you had Theo?”

“Oh…” She tapped her spoon in thought. “Probably a lil older than you.”

Nora’s mother was only twenty, and it made Nora feel too old to be starting motherhood in her thirties even though she also felt far too young. At least people in the wasteland didn’t seem to put a time-frame on things.

The elderly Yolanda was an exception. “Do you think you’ll have more?” she asked Nora.

Nora almost answered in earnest, but then wrinkled her nose. “That’s a trap, isn’t it?” She heard Nick sigh. “You can’t do that to him.”

“I suppose my advice can’t apply here.”

“Should I just go so you can talk shop?” Nick grumbled.

“No, she’s dropping it,” Lou said, staring back at his mother-in-law.

“More children makes the farm work easier,” Yolanda blurted. “That’s all.”

“Well, I live in a commune, with a couple of robotic residents, so I won’t need to gestate any child laborers,” Nora said smugly and Arlene snorted.

“When we go to Diamond City will we be able to play with your kid, Mrs Nora?” Gavin asked.

Her eyes widened. “Oh. Did… Did you hear us talking?”

“No, but Grandma asked if you’d have _more_,” he replied.

Nick let out a nervous chuckle. “Oooh, this one, he’s gonna be perceptive.”

“You have to wait till you’re bigger before you can travel like that,” Arlene said to her sons, and then gave Nora an apologetic grimace.

“Yeah, remember what Hank said,” Meryl added. “You gotta be _this tall _to get in the gate.”

“Who’s Hank?” Nick asked. “Your elusive husband?”

“Yes, and hopefully one day you’ll stop by when he’s _not _on the road,” Meryl said, giving her father a snide look.

“Oh, please, he loves it,” Lou said.

“He loves not being woken up at night by a fussy baby, that’s why.”

Arlene waggled a fork at her daughter. “I told you, if you’d like to go on caravan duty, _by all means._”

“There’s no way in heck I’m going out there.” Meryl eyed Nora. “I don’t know how you do it, traveling the wastes like that.”

“You get used to it,” Nora said. “I don’t know how you do this kind of homesteading.”

Meryl shook her head. “Don’t know nothing different.”

There was a noise, like a low rumble and most of the family lifted their heads in attention.

“What was _that?_” Lou asked. “An explosion?”

“I didn’t hear anything,” Yolanda dismissed.

“Ma, you never hear nothing,” Arlene said.

“Thunder?” Nora asked.

“Now don’t you think my joints would know if thunder were on its way?” Yolanda defended.

“It’s sure humid enough for one,” Arlene said.

“Rain doesn’t always precede lightning,” Nick said. “Radstorms sneak up on me all the time.”

“_Gah_, you think it could be that?” Meryl said nervously. “I don’t want my baby getting dosed so early.”

There was another rumble.

Nick stood up from the table. “I’ll check for green on the horizon. You all keep eatin’.”

Nora’s stomach squirmed once he left. “You guys have automated security, right?”

“Don’t worry,” Arlene said. “The machine-guns on those Protectrons can make swiss cheese out of concrete.”

Nora pensively pushed cauliflower around as she waited for Nick’s return, but the family went on like nothing was amiss.

Suddenly she heard the unmistakable sound of gunfire in the distance.

“Is that them?” Nora asked nervously.

“_Oh._ That explains it,” Lou said. “A molerat probably tripped their perimeter. Happens all the time.”

“Aw poor thing,” Gavin said.

“A molerat in the crops?” Lou replied. “Cry me a river.”

Nick stuck his head into the dining room. “Yeah, well, molerats don’t shoot back.”

“Goddamn,” Lou growled, and the adults rose from the table.

Arlene turned to her sons. “You two go upstairs.”

“What’s wrong?” Theo asked.

“Bad guys,” Gavin replied.

“You’re gonna fight the bad guys?” Theo’s voice creaked.

“Don’t worry,” Nick said. “I’m indestructible.”

“And we’re not gonna fight,” Arlene said. “We’re just going to show them who lives here.”

“Go on, let’s go,” Meryl said as she handed her baby to Yolanda, and then ushered her brothers upstairs.

Nora looked around at the quiet commotion. She expected her heart to be beating out of her chest in a panic, but everyone seemed so militant, as if this was a routine. Arlene passed firearms out from a locked closet and Nora scurried to find her own. She caught Yolanda’s eye, who instead of preparing was rocking her great-grandson in her arms.

“Does this…” Nora started, “Does this happen often?”

“Oh no, not in years,” Yolanda smiled, though her eyes seemed worried.

Nick appeared at her side. “Hey crackshot, you got your gun?”

“Yeah—”

“Alright; why don’t you cover Arlene and I’ll take Lou.”

“Where should _I_ go?” Meryl replied, heading down the steps with a pistol of her own.

“C’mon Meryl, _no,_” Nick said as if she proposed something ridiculous.

“No?” she said in disgust. “You’re not my parent.”

“Yeah, but I still got four times more life experience.”

“I’m not a child anymore.”

“Exactly my point. You got one now.”

“We’ve all got kids, Nick,” she said, pointing to Nora for emphasis. “You’ll have to find another reason.”

He lowered his voice. “God forbid anything happens to your folks; Yolie’s no spring chicken, you’d be the best bet to look after your brothers too.”

“Then Nora can stay in,” Meryl said defiantly.

“What?” Nick hissed.

“She’s a mom, and your girlfriend, and if anything happens to the rest of us she can look after things.”

Nora waved her hand “No I—”

“Unless you’re saying you don’t mind if your future wife dies for someone else’s business,” Meryl asked rhetorically and Nick seemed jolted.

“I— Guys— Don’t I have a say?” Nora stammered.

“Meryl’s got a point,” Nick said.

“What? _Nick!_ She’s just—”

“No, you protect the house.” He put his hands on her shoulders and nudged her into the sitting room. “These hicks have never fought indoors like you, they wouldn’t know the first thing.”

Nora sighed. “As long as you’re not hiding me away.”

“I’d trust no one else to look after my family.” Nick kissed her cheek. “Not even Meryl.”

Meryl scoffed but headed outside, and he followed.

Nora took a few steps backwards before turning to Yolanda. The matriarch sat on a sofa, bouncing her great-grandson restlessly on her knee.

Yolanda spoke before Nora could. “I hope it doesn’t get too loud. Babies don’t like noise. Not when they’ve only known a humble farm life.”

Nora swallowed, trying not to absorb Yolanda’s tension. “There doesn’t seem to be gunfire anymore. Lou’s probably right, it’s just a perimeter alarm.”

“Five generations have lived on this land now,” she said. “And we didn’t always have Protectrons or Nick Valentine.” Yolanda chuckled and muttered something reassuring to Cory.

Nora checked the bullets in her handgun, and felt for the ammo in her pouch, half-fearing she’d forgotten to restock. Yolanda gazed back at her again.

“Do you fight often, dear?”

“More than I ever thought I would,” Nora said. “Nick is pretty good at scaring people off, though.”

“You’re a very special person. You know that, right?”

Nora adjusted her rifle on her shoulder. “I just do what I can.”

“Yes, but there are a lot of strong people out in the wastes… most are motivated by survival rather than by love.”

“I think you can be motivated by both,” Nora said, thinking about the others she had met.

“You love your child, you love people in need, you’re looking to marry a man that many can’t even stand to look at.” Nora let out a soft laugh, forgetting for a moment that she was supposed to be playing a role still amidst this chaos. “You do intend on marrying him, right?”

Nora’s eyes broke away from the entrance. She was not at the point where she could imagine marrying again, but she couldn’t say for sure if she would remain single for the rest of Yolie’s days. 

Yolanda gave a small smile. “You love him, right? More than anyone.”

Nora smiled back. “He’s my best friend.”

“There’s nothing more important than that.”

A strange thought hit Nora’s mind. In her pre-war days, she’d considered Nate her best friend. But now it barely held a candle to Nick. She swallowed hard. Maybe friendship felt different when you were meant to be with someone romantically, too.

“Yolanda,” Nora said, her mouth dry. “Did you ever have a better friend than _your _Nathan?”

The old woman opened her mouth to speak, but there was a pounding on the door. Nora jumped and turned the safety off her gun. She crept into the entryway and saw a silhouette at thru the curtain. Another knock.

“Who is it?” Nora asked, hands trembling.

“Me,” Nick’s voice replied. She disarmed her gun with a sigh of relief, and unlocked the deadbolt. He took a step inside, looking shell-shocked. 

Nora’s stomach dropped. “Did something hap—”

“Everyone’s fine, It’s just… It’s the Brotherhood. I…” He shook his head. “I didn’t let ‘em get a good look at me. But I figured you might wanna come down— Everyone’s just shoutin’ and I can’t—” He closed his eyes. “I’m a synth; I can’t mediate with them.”

“It’s OK,” Nora reassured.

“I can’t let them know that this is my family—”

“I got it.” She laid a hand on his shoulder. His eyes darted to it with an unreadable expression.

“Thanks.” He sighed and slowly walked towards the sitting room. “I’ll babysit. At least children don’t got corrupt hearts.”

\---

Sun setting, Nora shielded her eyes and could make out shapes on the horizon, one large, two smaller. Firing directly into the light was a hazard, but despite the shouting it seemed no weapons were drawn. As she neared, the hulking shape blocked out the sun, revealing itself to be a soldier in power armor, towering over the usually imposing Lou. Another shorter figure stood a few steps behind the commotion.

“You’re being hysterical sir,” the soldier said to Lou.

“Oh, hysterical!”

“We’re here to help.”

“Yeah, _thanks a lot for that— _ you killed our security bot—”

“And I repeat; it was shooting at us.”

“You were trespassing!”

He cocked his head. “Well, if you employed a human instead of a machine, it would know that we weren’t a threat.”

“Anyone with a brain would think you’re a threat.” Lou threw up his arms. “I mean, look at you!”

“What’s going on?” Nora asked.

The soldier took a loud step forward. “Yes, are you a _rational_ person I can speak to?”

“I think we’re all being rational here when someone is trespassing on private property,” Nora replied.

“We’re here to offer you security, in exchange for rations,” he said loftily as if expecting her to grovel.

Lou spun around incredulously. “Oh, so that’s why you killed our security bot. Piss off.”

His semi-pleasant demeanor vanished. “Do not disrespect me. I’m a Knight. You’re a farmer.”

Loud remained unimpressed. “_A Knight?_ What is this, a storybook? This is my property, it’s _you_ who should show some respect.”

“I have the bigger gun,” he said, jostling his laser rifle.

“So?”

“I have an army.”

Nora got between them. “Does Paladin Danse know you’re using the Brotherhood to throw your weight around?”

The Knight took pause as if the name slapped him across the face. “Excuse me?”

Her shaking of nerves became that of adrenaline. “Unless you have a Paladin I can speak to, you don’t have authority to make these kinds of decisions outside a battlefield.”

The man shifted his weight. “Who are you?”

“A friend of Danse. I’m the one who reclaimed the police station for you.”

“Uh-huh.” He seemed taken aback.

“If you’re out here breaking rank, I don’t think your superiors would like that very much.”

The Scribe peered around his commander. “Are… Are you Brotherhood, sister?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“If you’re an ally, you must have some empathy for us. We’re…” He looked over his shoulder. “We’re low on rations.”

“If you’d like to buy food like every other civilized person in the wasteland, I’m sure they’d be glad to help,” Nora said.

“We got rules in the Commonwealth,” Lou said.

“We’re making a trade of service,” the Knight retorted.

“After destroying their security system,” Nora said.

“It was a forbidden machine—”

“It’s extortion. Which is a crime.” She tried to keep her authoritative cool as the Knight stared her down. “That very much goes against your philosophy of law and order.”

“We didn’t mean to destroy property,” the Scribe said.

“Even so, you need to make up for it,” Nora said. She looked at Lou and he nodded.

“We’ll trade you corn for say… one of those laser guns,” Lou said.

“Trust me, farmer, you don’t have the skills to wield this,” the Knight said smugly.

“I do,” Nora said. “I was trained by Danse himself, I can train them too.”

The victorious look slipped from the Knight’s face. “Ah. Well, I don’t think our Elder would be very pleased to hear the common folk are acquiring such technology.” His judging eyes again moved to Lou. “It corrupts the feeble, you know.”

“You weren’t the first to bring energy weapons into the ‘Wealth,” Lou argued. “We’ve been scavenging them off Institute corpses for years.”

The Knight’s brow twisted into something unreadable as he turned flush. “Bumpkins taking on the Institute? I don’t think so—”

Nora held out her hand. “Gun. And we’ll bring you corn.”

“Yeah, you’re lucky I have a shipment ready,” Lou grumbled at them before heading off to a storehouse.

The Scribe cleared his throat as the soldier sulked. “Where else can we acquire a farm?”

“You can make one yourself, like the rest of us have,” she said pleasantly to the one person who showed manners. “You have the manpower.”

“Maybe we’ll try some place more grateful,” the Knight snipped.

She sensed blood in the water. “Well, if you want to make a good impression, I’d say don’t commit property damage or threaten them.”

The Knight gave a snide look. “In any case our Elder will hear about this.”

“And if Danse doesn’t hear about this before your Elder, _I’ll know_.”

He leaned down, armor squeaking. “You don’t have the rank to order me around.”

“I’m not ordering.” Though her sweaty hand rested on her pistol. “I’m stating facts that you might want to take into consideration for your own job security.”

The man inhaled, but said nothing.

Lou reappeared with a large sack in a wheelbarrow. “Here. Take it, you iron brute.”

The power-armored soldier yanked it into the air like it was a feather pillow. “Well. You only have my gratitude in that my brothers will not starve tonight. But it is meager rations for an army.”

“You know there’s Yao Guai around here always takin’ people’s livestock,” Lou said, “why don’t you make you and your army _actually_ useful and hunt one?”

The two men said nothing and instead made their way back into the vast darkness.

“Pete’s sake, what the hell?” Lou hissed as he stared at her bug-eyed.

Nora exhaled and wiped her brow. “I think I’m going to pass out.”

“Yeah— are _you_ OK? You sounded like a different person.”

“I’m a lawyer— I just— I get in the zone—”

“This ‘lawyer’ stuff, I don’t get it,” he said and Nora turned away. “I only hear about those in books.” 

She had no lying left in her. “Yeah I— I figured—”

“You’re not really from an artist’s commune like Nick said, are you?” He asked rhetorically. Nora shook her head. “Does he know?”

“Nick knows every single thing about me. I just… I don’t like to talk about it with others.”

“Alright. From what I do know about you, it sounds you’ve been through hell.” 

“We’ve all been through it,” Nora said.

“The difference is how we deal with it. And if you’re interfacing with _those people_ on top of the Institute, well cripes, you must be as tough as Nicky himself. Tougher, maybe; he ran away.” He chuckled.

Nora gave a weak smile. “The world might get a little scarier for a while. You should shelter everyone while you can.”

“What, and just let it happen?”

“I won’t let anything bad happen,” she said dutifully.

“There you go again. No wonder he’s in love with you.”

Nora laughed. “It’s… It’s hot out here, huh?”

“Yeah.” He looked at the Protectron on the ground. “Speaking of Nick; what do you know about robotics?”

She stared down too, racking her brain. “Oh. Well.”

“Is that _too personal _a question?” he asked with earnest concern.

Nora smiled back. “I guess it’s embarrassing to admit I don’t know much at all.”

“Some fiancee you are. I’m just teasing. But seriously—” He looked back at the house. “We need to get someone who knows how to repair combat damage or else we’re down a sentry. And if he’s your boyfriend, then he can’t be too much disarray under those clothes.”

“Well, don’t tell your mother-in-law that I’ve had so much as a peep,” Nora muttered.

\---

Upon their return they were greeted by Nick, who apparently had spent the whole ordeal with his face pressed against the window.

“Everything fine,” Nora said. “You can put your gun away.”

Nick was still on edge. “And they’re gone— They…”

“I handled it,” Nora said casually. Nick looked at Lou for confirmation.

“Now I see why you called her a siren last time you were here,” Lou said.

“I did? Oh right, I did…” He gave an awkward laugh and wouldn’t meet anyone’s eye.

After the sound of a dinner bell, the family reconvened in the house.

“Seems like there’s no damage,” Nick said, “save for the Protectron who got a hole punched through it.”

“No other damage? The damn goons made our dinner get cold,” Lou grumbled.

“Like your dinner doesn’t get cold all the time, Dad,” Meryl dismissed.

“I’m full, I want dessert,” Theo said as he ran into the kitchen.

“You can’t be both at once,” Gavin said as he followed.

Arlene gestured to her husband. “C’mon, if you’re so hungry we’ll pop the plates in the oven.”

Meryl passed by on her way to retrieve her child, but Nick snapped his fingers. She stopped in her tracks, likely conditioned to the response.

“Over here,” Nick said quietly.

“What?” Meryl asked incredulously. Nora was confused by his demeanor as well. Not hostile, but also not carrying any warmth.

“_Get._”

Meryl approached the corner and Nora eyed them. “What?”

“I don’t like the needlin’ teeth you bared back when you were trying to switch places.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong—”

“Don’t bring up my fiancee again.”

She smirked. “Don’t bring up Nora?”

“The one that died because of someone else’s business.”

Meryl’s face turned sheet-white. “Oh. Oh I— I didn’t mean it like that— I wasn’t even thinking about—” She shook her head. “I didn’t know that’s why she...”

Nick backed away. “Alright, well as long as it was innocent.” 

“I know I can be a witch sometimes but I’d _never_\--”

“No_, no_.” Now Nick seemed embarrassed. “Water under the bridge then.”

Meryl looked to Nora and swallowed. “I… I’m gonna grab Cory, I’ll just…” she stumbled out of the room.

Nora took a step towards him. “Sweetheart,” she said mournfully, feeling his pain.

“We’re alone, you don’t gotta—” She stared back. “Oh. You’re… Yeah.”

She wrapped an arm around him. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine, I’m good— Just, Meryl used to be a bratty kid, she said mean things to get her way, y’know? I just wasn’t… wasn’t sure… Sometimes when parents can’t get their kids to shape up they need a third party to...” He patted her on the shoulder. “_Kiddo_, _I’m fine._”

“I wouldn’t be fine if I thought someone was bringing up Nate,” Nora whispered.

“And unlike you, I’ve had the time,” he said.

Meryl shuffled back through with her son in her arms, still looking mortified. Her grandmother followed and looked at the ‘couple’.

“Something wrong?” she asked.

“No,” Nick said, and Nora wordlessly shook her head.

“You know,” Yolanda said with a great sigh, “I’ve been giving it some thought. You seem old enough not to worry about,” she said towards Nora, “I don’t really mind if you two share the guest room.”

“That’s unnecessary—” Nick said quickly. “We don’t need to.”

“She just seemed clingy tonight,” Yolanda said, and Nora noticed how hard her own fist clenched to his shirt.

“She’s not clingy, she’s _tired_, that’s all,” Nick said. Nora looked at him in confusion, unsure as to why he was pushing her away. Perhaps everything was too overwhelming.

“Nora, love,” Arlene said from the other room. “Why don’t you bring in those cookies you made in? I’m dying to try ‘em.”

Nora brought the tin from her pack into the dining room, and then slumped into a chair. “Another exhausting day in the wasteland. Even on vacation.”

“Would you like a drink?” Meryl asked.

“I might.”

“Would you like to hold a heavy baby?”

Nora smiled. “I would _love_ to hold a heavy baby, thank you.” She turned to Nick as he sat beside her. “You’re OK, right?” she whispered.

“Absolutely.” He smiled.

The child in Nora’s arms tugged at the chain around her neck and Nate’s wedding band popped out with it. Nora hissed in disapproval as baby Cory attempted to stick it in his mouth, and she spun the necklace to her back as not to tempt him further. 

Marriage, children— despite having both less than a year ago, it seemed absolutely foreign now. She was starting to understand how Nick felt so separated from his old life and the things he once wanted. Maybe it wasn’t as reliant on his synthetic transition as she once thought.

Even now as she’d grown accustomed to them, Nick’s expressions could be hard to read. But as he gazed at her, he almost seemed conflicted.

Nora tried to get ahead of it. “If you’re going to tell me it’s safer to be a shut-in and pop out babies, I’ve heard that one before.”

“No, no.”

She waited for him to speak but he said nothing. “Then...?”

“For so long, you’ve felt like the past. But you’re starting to feel like the future.”

“What does that mean?”

“I dunno.” He shrugged. “Good things.”

“Are you proposing?” Yolanda whispered. They realized she’d been staring at them the whole time.

“No, we already talked about this,” Nick retorted and Nora raised a brow. “I don’t like public spectacles.”

“So, if I leave, then you’ll—”

“No.”

She shrugged at Nora. “I tried, dear.”

\---

“I don’t know how good I’ll be for conversation, Nick,” Nora said, her stomach full of drink and dessert and head heavy from the weather. “I think I wore myself out.”

“Well, you didn’t pace yourself with a visit from the Brotherhood in mind,” Nick said as he followed her down the upstairs hall.

She pried open the door that had warped from humidity, and groaned when it was no cooler than the downstairs kitchen.

“Wow, it gets hot in here, doesn’t it?” Nora asked and pawed at the already open window for a breeze.

“Yeah, you might not want to keep that open either, lest some bloodsuckers pay you a visit”

Nora made a disgusted noise and drew it shut. “In that case, _you_ might want to leave,” she said.

“Oh, right, you need to get changed? I can come back.”

Nora peered at him. “Well. If it stays this muggy, I might not be sleeping with any sheets. So.”

He waited for her to continue. “Uh huh?”

“Don’t make me say it because you’re not going to like it.”

“Like what?”

She gave him a bemused smile and sat on the bed. “Nick, is this whole thing a joke that you do, or do you really forget what it’s like to be human?”

“What,” Nick’s eyes darted to her open bag, “did you not pack any summer things? You can borrow from Meryl, y’know—"

“You’re impossible.”

“Oh.” It hit him. “Nothing— You mean _nothing."_

Luckily his clocked-out brain prevented him from visualizing it.

She pulled her hair back. “Were you not a sweaty human, Nick?”

“Yeah but I just dealt with it.”

“That sounds so unpleasant. _Why?_”

“Not any more unpleasant than the alternative,” he said defensively.

“Wait, wait—” Nora held up a hand. “Do you have a whole nudity hangup?”

“I dunno why that’s pertinent.” It was a dead man’s business.

“What happens when I have to get you undressed?”

Nick swore something shorted out in his chest. “Why would you do _that?_”

“It’s only a matter of time. You know?” No, he didn’t know. “Combat. Repairs.”

Nick exhaled. “If it comes to that, let me bleed out on the road.”

“Nick!” She laughed. “It’s just _me_.”

“Yeah, that’s the thing.”

Her brow furrowed. “But… you said it was better because you trust me. What’s changed?”

“Nothing’s changed,” he said hastily. “You know, sometimes we can say we want certain things but then in the moment it’s different.”

Nora stared back and then nodded. “Well. You can change your mind.” She unlaced her shoes. “But Lou was asking if I knew how to mend a broken robot, and I don’t. So. Maybe I’d be no use to you.”

“You’re great use—”

Her head snapped upwards. “But I could be _better_. We could get you in tip-top condition.”

Nick flattened into the corner. “It’d take a lot of work.”

“Then will you teach me? Teach me how to fix you?”

“Like I said, it’s different—” He imagined Nora’s face next to his, her hand sending sparks through his fraying wires again, “— there’s a difference between you helping me in a time of crisis and you poking at my insides just for kicks.”

“For kicks? How am I supposed to learn if you didn’t come with an instruction manual,” she asked and Nick sighed. “It wasn’t even a crisis last time, you just didn’t want to do it yourself.”

“Well you said I can change my mind, so I’m changing it.”

“This is really a problem for you, isn’t it?” she said gently. “I’m not making fun of you, I’m just… figuring out the boundaries. That’s all.”

His shoulders relaxed. “Alright.”

“Hey, I… I know you’re going through some _stuff—_” she gestured at her head “— so we don’t have to talk about it. But, if you want to teach me about coolant functionality and all that, this would be a perfect time.”

Nick took another deep breath. “Yeah, I hear you. You’re just…” He turned to her and smiled. “You’re lookin’ out for me, like always.”

“Between you and Codsworth, I’ve got a lot of family members who need maintenance.”

“Yeah. And you know who needs maintenance most right now?” he asked. She cocked her head. “That poor ol Protectron lyin’ out in the yard.”

Nora smiled. “While you’re out there, think about my offer. Maybe we can use one of them as a proxy some time, if you’re still uncomfortable.”

“Sure. Can’t be too complex, I suppose.”

He bid her a swift goodnight, desperately seeking fresh air, but encountered Lou on his way down the stairs.

“Not turning in with your lady?” Lou asked.

“Nah, too stuffy for my wandering mind to handle,” Nick said. “But that’s lucky for you, ‘cause I’m gonna fix your security problem.”

“Yeah?” Lou leaned on the banister. “Well, we might not have much of a problem anymore.”

“How so?”

“First you scared off the raiders for good, now that lil hen scared the bejeezus out of an armada without even waving a gun.”

“Told you, she’s persuasive,” he said nonchalantly.

Lou’s eyes shifted as if checking that no one was eavesdropping. “She’s powerful, Nicky, and she doesn’t realize it yet. I dunno if you can handle her once she does, but you better hold on tight.”

“Took the words right out of my mouth,” Nick said, and continued down the steps.

Nick pushed through the door and the crickets in the far fields caused a disorienting din. As he made his way down the lonely winding path, he pulled at his shirt, trying to find some respite in the stagnant air. As if things couldn’t get worse, bugs attracted to his back lit eyes zipped past his face— A nightmare of crawling insects just outside of his view.

After gathering a few tools from Lou’s shed, he followed the smell of oil to the sad sparking mess that laid out at the perimeter. Nick knelt down, taking care not to soil his knee with black, and shone a small light at it. A hole had been soldered clean through, obviously from the heat of a heavy-duty laser. Had he not been privy to the preceding events, he would’ve found this crime scene puzzling.

“We ain’t so different, huh,” Nick said as he pulled at the melted wires. “I pray for her sake I never end up like this. Pray for _mine_ too,” he added with a grumble.

He stuck the flashlight in his mouth and began assessing the damage.

Nora was different. He had to stop thinking about her like every other woman. She was more than family. More than a colleague. Unprecedented. _Different._ Just like this goddamned summer that made him dizzy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a few deadlines for the holidays but I'm aiming to get the next bit up in December. I have a lot of NaNo catch up to do too, but hopefully it works out!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the unholy delay on my end, but I was going through some more health stuff for a few months / trying to earn money to cover it, and that was _before_ the world set itself on fire.
> 
> Kinda wanted to post this on the 1st but I realized that'd seem cruel. I hope this was marginally worth the wait.
> 
> CW: Talk of PTSD related things

By the time Nick had finished mending the other bot, the summer sun rose, and so did the heat with it. He had then waited in the shed in a daze, sluggish and mildly antisocial. In the years prior, when he had the tendency of subjecting himself to isolation, the only thing compelling him back to humankind had been his sense of duty to the community, and later his secretary.

Returning to these habits would be counter-intuitive now, and perhaps an impossibility. No matter how much he wanted to retreat from civilization, doing so without Nora felt as abnormal as venturing out unclothed.

Nick had less obligation to go inside, knowing she was likely entertaining the bunch. She was in her element, having come from a home full of too many people. Unlike him, an only child who even in his human years preferred a book in a locked room or a silent fishing trip.

But even hours apart and steps away, he missed her.

Things would need a reevaluation.

\---

The sitting room laid quiet as Yolanda knit. Though her hands shook with age, she rapidly produced row after row, as if in a deep meditation. Nick had knitted occasionally, but he’d quickly grown annoyed with how the yarn snagged upon his metal fingers. How the slick needles fell from his grasp or snapped from too hard a grip. Ever a perfectionist, he didn’t have the patience to spend time on something he knew he’d never get right.

Arlene entered and set a cup of tea next to her mother, who didn’t even glance up.

“We missed you at breakfast.” Arlene said to him. “Do you...” She stopped and smiled. “I was gonna ask if you wanted tea or somethin’.”

“No, but if you got some D-Rust, my jaw is feelin’ a tad stiff.”

She scurried to the pantry and returned with lemon juice, a rag, and a positively ancient looking box of Abraxo cleaner. Arlene gave an apologetic grimace. “It’s probably not ideal, but it helps with the door hinges.”

Nick took it with interest. “Might at least smell nicer.”

He retreated to the downstairs bathroom, a cramped cupboard of a thing with a mirror and sink basin jerry-rigged with an outdoor gravity hose. The Hagneys had stacked soaps and other cosmetic products on the toilet, which was likely useless, now so far from an urban development.

Being miles away from modern amenities was why he hadn’t lasted a full year in the Scouts, and he always regarded himself lucky that he was too out of shape to ever be drafted. Though Nick could hardly be considered ‘high-maintenance’, he pictured his human self adjusting far worse than Nora. But no matter how greasy or dirt-caked she became during travel, smudged make-up or bare-faced, she always looked lovely and radiant to him. Because she always treated him like he, too, was something lovely.

After cleaning the most problematic hinge, he stared at the stained cloth in disdain. He felt grimy and disgusting, unworthy of even the most platonic affection. He avoided his reflection.

This was all stupid. How could anyone possibly believe that someone would fall for him, when he couldn’t even look at himself? Arlene likely though it laughable, now that she knew the truth.

Nora saw the value in everyone, believed in big, beautiful dreams; as if the world would sort itself out like a storybook. Now, he found himself believing too. After all, he’d seen her square off and win impossible battles, a mouse driving off an elephant. But the poor kid was also naive and coping with massive traumas that had barely begun to heal over.

Nick needed to stop floating away with her lofty thoughts, and be what he knew he was; a rusted anchor to keep them both grounded.

As he exited into the hall, he found Arlene and her husband in the kitchen, stacking pallets of empty mason jars.

“Need some help?” Nick asked, watching the middle-aged couple puff as they exerted themselves.

“Would ya?” Arlene replied gratefully, and he lifted it with ease. “I gotta save some energy for getting the boys to take their bath.” She fanned herself. “Where’d you run off to last night, anyways?”

“I was in your work shed. I think I passed out,” Nick said. “Or the equivalent of. Woke up next to a Protectron.”

“I’ll be sure not to tell Nora,” Lou joked.

“Where is she, exactly?” Nick asked.

“She went out with Meryl to harvest,” he said.

“_Manual labor?_” Nick scoffed, bemused.

“Oh c’mon,” Arlene said, “she can’t be any more of a princess than Meryl, and my girl still comes in the house muddy as all sin.”

“Funny, I was just thinking about that. How I’m more of the one who hates mud,” Nick admitted as he moved another pallet. “Kid cries about her looks, but then gets all caked in dirt when she’s not around a mirror. Guess it’s a good sunscreen, but I always wanna clean her face.”

Lou laughed. “Don’t be a hypocrite, Nicky, you’re the dingiest one of all.”

It stung, but Lou didn’t understand that Nora’s attraction to him was all for show.

He decided to change the subject.

“At least it ain’t so hot today. Feels like I haven’t been able to think in ages.” He sighed. “But now maybe I’m thinking too much.”

“Ah, perfect; then you’ll enjoy some mind-numbing work,” Lou said happily, and they began organizing canning materials.

The dizzying summer heat had planted silly thoughts in Nick’s head. And now he had no choice but to do what he did best: brood.

\---

An hour or so later, Nora returned to the house with Meryl from the fields, chatting eagerly about something that he couldn’t quite make out.

Meryl was the first to notice him. “Oh, morning Nick,” she said casually. “You missed breakfast.”

“And the morning shift, apparently. You done using her as free labor?” Nick grumbled.

“Don’t be like that,” Nora replied.

“You’re on vacation,” he said.

“I had fun,” she protested. “Worked up an appetite, though.”

“And a sweat. Why don’t you clean up?” A request, rather than a helpful suggestion.

“Yessir,” Nora said with a roll of her eyes, before heading upstairs.

Meryl turned on him with hauteur. “Jeez, pushy?” she asked.

“If I don’t remind her, then she’s gonna complain that all her clothes are dirty.” Meryl stared back, and he frowned. “You don’t know her like I do.”

“I mean, I’d _hope_ you know her better than I do,” Meryl said, and winked.

Her mother flashed her a glare. “Meryl, lay off.”

Nick stared back at the smug young woman. “If you wanna have a smart mouth, you gotta work on your innuendos. My girl’s the queen of double entendres, ask her about it.”

“Ew, what’s that?” Meryl asked with interest. “No— I don’t want to know what you two do.”

“Oh go away,” Arlene said, making shooing motions. Nick felt lucky that there wasn’t much he and Nora feasibly _could_ do. Or maybe he was just that naive. It was like everyone was privy to a big secret he wasn’t. Oh, how he hated that feeling.

He really needed to find a distraction.

“Arlene? Is there anything in your pantry you ain’t precious about?”

“Sure. Why?”

“Got an impromptu idea,” he said half to himself. She raised a brow. “I know; who’d a thunk?”

\---

Meryl had treated Nora to a miniature crash course in homestead living. She learned new things about crops and farming, how to get bigger harvests for the same amount of effort. Things she was excited to share with her wasteland neighbors, and selfishly because more yield in the neighborhood meant more reserves for her baking experiments.

As she made her way back downstairs, Nick peered up the banister at her. “Hey, you got plans yet?” he asked.

“No. But my stomach might.”

“Good. Come down.”

Nora furrowed her brow in bemusement and chased him to the corridor. Nick stood there with a knapsack and blanket.

“Oh, what’s this?” she asked. “You’re kicking me out?”

“It’s lunch.”

Nick looked into the kitchen where the family was making canned preserves. “I’m taking my lady on a date,” he said. Nora perked up. “So don’t send out the search party.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Arlene cooed.

“Ah, one moment before you go!” Yolanda said and searched through a cabinet.

Meryl said nothing, but aggressively pointed at her own ring.

Nora shook her head. Meryl raised an eyebrow and then gave her a sly look. Nora shook her head again, but Meryl shrugged.

Yolanda hobbled to Nora’s side with a salve and began slopping it across Nora’s nose.

“_Yolie—_” Nora screwed up her face.

“Rub it in, dear,” Yolanda ordered. “Tanned hides turn quickly to leather, you know.”

“This isn’t really from the sun,” Nora muttered, but Yolanda patted her on the freckled cheek.

Nora wiped the excess in sheepishly as they walked away and Nick laughed.

“Now you know how your baking tins feel,” he said.

\---

As they made their way along the vast fields, Nora held out her fingers to brush against the tall grain that whispered in the wind. They felt softer than she imagined, on her hands that were slowly becoming rougher from work.

There was a nostalgic sense of calm in the farm’s quiet, the kind that they never could fully enjoy on their other wasteland excursions, always feeling a prickle of vigilance on the back of their necks.

“What was Meryl’s deal back there?” Nick finally asked.

“She thinks you either took me here to propose or have your way with me.”

“I dunno which is more insulting,” he scoffed.

She glanced at him in disbelief. “Why?”

“I’m more romantic than that.”

“You don’t think that’s romantic?” she asked with a winsome smile.

“You and I have different ideas.”

“So you keep your hands to yourself?”

“I’m a gentleman, of course.”

“You didn’t on our ‘first date’.”

“Huh?” He seemed to recall those reassuring touches towards a sobbing stranger. “Oh. Well, I figured the metal hand would convince you I wasn’t trying to initiate somethin’. Bit of a known turn off.”

“Because that’d be enough to stop someone from being into you?” she chided. “Please.”

“It’s more of a reality check. I might be suave and irresistible as any other man—” Nora giggled— “but I ain’t gonna feel the same.”

She turned and squeezed his face. “Their loss.” Nora drew closer to him; he seemed to brace himself. She sniffed the air. “So that’s you that smells like citrus.”

“Ah. Yeah.”

“Did you freshen up for our date?”

He laughed sheepishly. “I de-rusted. Jaw was stickin’ a lil.”

“Ew.”

He frowned and pulled away. “C’mon, I feel gross enough already.”

“Nick, it was a sympathy ew.”

Nora ran her hand down his back, noticing for the first time the deep grooves in his skin through his thin cotton shirt. She recalled what Amari said about his sensors and wondered if he could even feel her.

“If picnics aren’t your style, then what’s your ideal date?” Nora asked, knowing well that Nick had his flights of romantic whimsy yet seemed too withdrawn to elaborate.

He made a non-committal sound. “I dunno, I haven’t thought about it in a while,” he sighed. “I used to love a baseball game. Maybe a drive-in movie.”

“And at the drive-in you kept your hands to yourself?”

“You a goldfish or something? What did I just say?” he asked.

He was a gentleman, of course. “But what if she didn’t want you to?”

“Maybe I want to just watch a _damn _movie,” he said incredulously and Nora laughed.

\---

They found a leafy tree on the edge of a pruned orchard, one that wouldn’t bear fruit till autumn, and they put down a blanket in the partial shade. After setting down the basket, Nick sprawled out on the ground with a great tired sigh.

Nora peered at him for a moment, wondering if the heat had overtaken him. “You alright?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he replied. “I just don’t find many excuses to be horizontal these days. Kinda miss it.”

Nora sat across from him, enjoying the warmth on her back and the serenity of being secluded. The peace was interrupted by a growl from her stomach.

“_Eat_,” Nick said.

Wrapped in a cloth, she found a bountiful summer tasting menu. A tart apple, aged cheese, berry preserves, soft bread, fresh pods of sugar peas, and a jar of sangria.

“This looks amazing,” Nora cheered. “I’d hate to see what a _romantic_ picnic looks like from you.” She winked.

“I just got a little of everything. But I threw in the peas hopin’ you’d eat something green if it had ‘sugar’ in the name.”

“Funny, funny,” she retorted, smacking him on his bent knee.

He said nothing as Nora ate, and she found herself too focused on the food to mind. After finishing her drink and the other dreamy delicacies, she took a pause, feeling slightly gluttonous in a world of scarcity, and finally ate her peas.

She turned to Nick to say another word of thanks, but his eyes were closed. Nora leaned over him with curiosity, watching him in this state of mock sleep that she’d never quite witnessed. His eyes opened, and he let out a soft nervous laugh.

“How’s things in there?” she asked.

“Ah. The regular kind of bad,” he admitted.

“Aw. Why bad?”

Nick made a hesitant noise. “You finishing your unfinished business makes me think it’s high time I started on mine. Y’know. Tying up loose ends for Nick. I owe it to him.”

“I don’t really know what your ‘business’ is, but… If there’s anything I can help with, just say the word.”

Nick drew a deep breath. She waited for him to say anything, and then turned away.

“You know how you asked how much I’ve changed?” he inquired. Nora looked back and nodded. “I said it’s all my programming keeping me stagnant but, I’m thinkin’ maybe it’s just me. It’s really not the time or years that make the distance... it’s how far I’m willing to leave it behind me.”

“Is that what I need to do?” she asked curiously. “Leave things behind?”

“Well, I can only say for sure what _hasn’t_ worked for me.” He gazed up at the rustling tree. “I thought I could only move forward by telling myself I’m not Nick, but at the end of the day you can only separate us so much. And that keeps me from dealin’ with things, y’know? I put it all on him; it’s_ his_ problems, there’s no reason for _me_ to try and emotionally unpack it all.” He pursed his lips in thought. “Seeing you..._ do_ everything you do, with such personal wounds... I wanna believe I’m as strong as you. I don’t know how easily I can fight a mental illness that’s been coded into me, but hell I’ve been... changing in ways I didn’t believe I could so… Maybe I gotta start facing it again.”

“What do you need to face, Nick?” she asked softly.

“My PTSD,” he admitted. “It’s_ his,_ but… that makes it mine too. I think it dictates everything I do out here. It’s why I get irritable with reckless types, why I love from a distance,” he said, gesturing towards the house. “Why I push myself into horrific situations so others don’t have to. I’m messed up in the head after sixty years still ‘cause I keep my trauma to myself, while you purge your poisons... I’m a neat freak even with my emotions, and you’re not afraid to be messy.”

“I’ll try to take that as a compliment,” she stated. Nick glanced at her hesitantly, and she chuckled.

“We should change the subject,” he said wearily.

“Why? Are you uncomfortable?”

“I don’t want to ruin your day.”

“The only way you could ruin it is by making me worry that you still don’t feel like you can tell me things.”

He paused. “Then can I tell you about this... mess inside my head? That horrible thing we got in common?” Nora’s stomach tightened, and she nodded. “Well, you say the worst day of your life started off like a perfect dream. But for me, I knew something was wrong the moment I woke up...”

\---

Senseless tragedy was prevalent even before the bombs, but Nick Valentine’s life was a tale of insult to injury far outside his knowledge or control. Police corruption, a dirty court deal, and Nick’s fiancee Jennifer being one of many who became collateral damage in something bigger than the both of them.

Perhaps it was the series of cliches, but something about this story was so sickeningly familiar to Nora. Itt almost felt like deja vu.

“I actually wanted to sue the department but—”

“Oh my God,” Nora blurted out as it all hit her. “That was your legal case.”

Nick said nothing.

“I... I was still on maternity leave,” she continued, “but I stopped by the office every week just to keep up to date. We had someone come in. A guy was wondering if he could sue Boston PD for gross negligence resulting in death. My mentor, he... His response was a bit callous.”

“Were you in office that day?” Nick asked softly, almost unperturbed by her reaction.

Nora nodded. She couldn’t for the life of her remember if she’d seen Nick in the flesh, but she remembered the aftermath.

“The guy actually laughed in my face,” Nick continued. “He told me only a child would think the PD’s priority is to protect an individual, especially when it’d interfere with the bottom line.”

“You were the ‘stupid cop’,” Nora hissed. Her firm often butted heads with law enforcement, acting as public defenders in an age where questioning the authoritative iron fist was risky, and trials were rigged in the prosecution’s favor. But even then, Nora couldn’t stomach her peers jeering over something that resulted in an innocent person’s death.

“Yeah. I _was_ stupid, that’s no overstatement,” Nick said. “It wasn’t until it happened to me that I realized we really weren’t there to protect and serve. We were just there to enforce order. Me having the audacity to speak out really screwed up my life.” He drew in his arms. “I didn’t see a job left for me if word got back that I looked into legal action. That’s a betrayal, y’know? Plus, I wasn’t even from Boston’s department, I was Chicago’s detective on loan.”

“Two cities fighting each other,” Nora whispered. “There’s no way.” No attorney in their right mind would take that case to court. Leaving people in the wreckage of their tragedy filled her with deep regret, even on a professional level, but now this was personal.

“And since I dunno what happened after my and the other Nick’s lives diverged…” he mumbled, “there very well could’ve been retaliation. And I know that would’ve ended me, had the bombs not dropped.”

Nora felt her limbs shaking, and she laid down next to him, a desperate attempt to apply some comfort now that words eluded her. The smell of grease and rust stung her nose, but still she buried it against his shirt.

“The people I loved were either dead, or I was dead to them, y’know,” Nick continued. “I was in mourning for what I’d lost and in mourning for what I was losing, and I was completely and utterly alone. And that was before I woke up here.”

Her mind raced as she processed it all. “Nick. Is that why you dropped everything for me?”

“Yeah. Suppose it was.”

Unsure what to do or say, she again brought her face to his shoulder and left a firm and grateful kiss upon the grungy cotton that was now becoming stained with her tears.

“Don’t be so sad for me, doe eyes.”

“How can I not be sad for you?” she sniffled. “You’re my best friend and you’re so kind even though you hurt so much inside.”

“We all hurt inside. Sometimes I think it’s better out here. You know?” He again stared upwards. “The world is lawless, sure, but that means there are no unjust laws either. Shoot a rich murderer point blank, and no one will blink. Yank a raider up by the scruff of his neck and tell him to shape up. Have mercy on a thief who was just trying to feed her kids. I can walk to the ends of the earth just to return a sentimental object. I’m what I wanted the law to be.”

“And that’s why you feel so guilty about wanting to give up sometimes?”

“Yeah. Or, y’know… Do anything for myself and not the greater good. I’ve never done_ this _before.”

She rose slightly to look at him. “What?”

“Lie out in an open field.”

Nora laughed and wiped her eyes. “How is that possible?”

“Nick was a city boy. And now no one invites me on picnics.”

“Well, maybe being here with me is your chance to lie down and dream.” She traced reassuring fingers down his arm and smiled.

“I… I think I’d like that,” he whispered, studying her in a peculiarly ruminative way. “I think there’s lots of things I’ve been missing out on.”

She felt sun-struck. “Like what?”

His unusual gaze tore away from her and she too heard rustling in the grass, making her heart beat faster. Instinct told her to reach for a weapon, but they’d left theirs inside.

The wheat parted, and out sprung two dirt-covered boys.

“We found you!” Theo exclaimed.

“Found us?” Nick asked and Nora nearly fainted from relief.

“You were hiding.”

“No, we weren’t,” Nick parried.

“Then why are you laying down!” Gavin asked.

“We were trying to take a nap.”

“Naps are boring!” Theo said. “Grandma takes them all the time.”

“Gimme a break,” Nick groaned, “we’re old.”

“Good thing Meryl was so wrong about us,” Nora said to Nick, though the way he’d looked at her made something flutter in her stomach.

“Meryl’s always wrong,” Gavin said.

Nick snapped back to his normal self. “Now, don’t be mean about your sis.” The brothers dog piled on the synth’s middle and Nick sighed. “You’re lucky I don’t have ribs to break.” The boys laughed, and so did Nora. “You think everything’s funny, huh,” he grumbled.

“Yes,” Theo said. Nora giggled again, and Nick narrowed his eyes at her.

“This is the life you want?” Nick asked. “Where you can’t find an hour to yourself without these goblins climbing you?”

“Of course not,” she countered. “That’s why _you’ll _be the babysitter. Endless stamina, as Lou said.”

There was another rustle and Arlene appeared, red-faced as if she’d run the whole way.

“We found them!” Theo cheered.

“And I told you imps they weren’t missing!” Arlene said and wiped her face. “I’m sorry, the boys were looking for any excuse not to take their bath.”

“We just took one!” Gavin argued.

“Yes, and it’s summer! You’re slippery little dirt grubs.”

“Will you take a bath if I go with you?” Nick asked.

The brothers rejoiced, and their mother pinched her brow.

\---

The youngsters raced into the house in front of them, cackling like parrots, and Arlene lumbered into the kitchen with an exhausted sigh.

“There’s no way I have the energy for this anymore,” she huffed. “Don’t have babies in your forties,” she added aside to Nora.

“She won’t have to worry about that,” Lou said, smiling at Nick.

“How lucky,” he deadpanned back.

“I hope those brats didn’t interrupt anything,” Meryl whined.

“We were talking,” Nick replied. “About work.”

Meryl’s head dropped backward. “_Ugh,_ you think a guy named Valentine would be more romantic.”

“Listen, I didn’t pick the name or the guy I inherited a personality from.”

“Can’t you take a mental vacation too?” Meryl gestured to Nora. “For this pretty lady’s sake.”

Nora waved it off. “He’s over it now. He knows I’m more than a pretty face; I’m annoying too,” she teased.

“You’re not annoying,” Nick said.

“But am I pretty?”

He sighed and his shoulders dropped, as if in defeat. “The prettiest.”

“Aww,” Meryl simpered.

Lou let out another chuckle. “Look at him— He scored the jackpot— Why does he look so sad?”

His wife nudged him, and Lou glanced at her with confusion.

“Isn’t that just his face?” Nora deflected. Nick snorted and followed the boys upstairs.

“Louis,” Arlene said, “take Meryl to go get melons.”

“What?” he gawked. “I can carry them on my own.”

“I need two. Take Meryl.”

“Am I being punished?” Meryl asked indignantly.

“Your father strained himself enough today. But yeah, that too.”

Meryl had the demeanor of a teen and muttered about ‘being grown’ as she accompanied her father outside.

Nora glanced around in confusion and Arlene looked her over. “What did I walk in on out there?”

“N-Nothing sexual,” Nora declared sheepishly. Fooling around outside wasn’t _entirely_ outside her experience.

“No, I know that,” Arlene said quickly. “But Lou’s right, he…” She shook her head. “What did he say to you?”

Nora didn’t notice much difference in Nick’s expression, as there was always a weariness lingering over him. But a confession_ had _been shared. “It’s… private.”

“Mmn. I see.” She worriedly bit her lip. “He’s been so… _content _lately, I forgot he could look so sad too.”

“Things are just… in flux. For both of us.” Nora gave a tired smile. “He’s going to be OK.”

Arlene returned one. “Well. If you’re with him, I should start believing it.”

\---

As dinner clamored on, Nick retreated into his mind, trying to pinpoint what finally lead him to pour his heart out to his trusted confidant, after keeping it in so long.

Even in the new wake of her own tragedy, even while trudging through discomfort and grappling with starvation, dehydration, illness, Nora seemed happier than he had ever been out here. You could blame it on sunshine, or the breeze in her hair, or the berry jam she licked from her spoon, but she was trying to find her moments of bliss whereas Nick resisted his, feeling unworthy.

Despite his hopes, he didn’t feel free of baggage. More like he traded his past for his future, one that had always been uncertain but now had a possible destination. Or at least featured a traveling companion for now.

Perhaps it was becoming too heavy to carry them along with these new feelings. Ones he again felt unentitled to.

A rumble shook the farmhouse like the previous evening, and Nick gripped the table. The family fell silent.

Lou rose to attention. “Are they back for round two?”

“No,” Yolanda said, covering baby Cory’s ears. “I feel it this time.”

“A storm, gramma?” Meryl asked shakily. Yolanda nodded. Nick was so distracted by his thoughts that he’d missed the tell-tale feelings in his joints.

Arlene blew a strand of hair from her face. “Oh great, so we could’ve let the sky wash the boys instead today.”

Nora looked around with hesitant eagerness. “Radiation or normal?”

“Guess we’ll find out,” Lou said, leaving to check outside. There was a lengthy tense pause, before a boom, very far off in the distance. “_Oh yeah_,” he chuckled from another room. “All purple.”

Meryl exhaled and resumed eating her melon salad, and her father returned to his seat.

“And that’s… good?” Nora asked.

“Green lightning is what you need to steer clear of,” Arlene replied.

Nora beamed. “A real summer thunderstorm? We never had those here.”

“Huh?” Meryl narrowed her eyes. “We have them all the time—”

“She meant ‘there’, from up North,” Nick interjected. “They get uh, blizzards, I think.”

Nora nodded quickly, once again forgetting the backstory Nick had built for her.

Meryl goggled back. “We never get snow like that. Only once, when I was a kid.”

“Who wants to get snowed in and freeze?” Nora asked. “There’s nothing better than a summer storm.” She sighed wistfully.

“We definitely need it,” Yolanda said.

Nora picked up her plate. “Mind if I eat on the porch?”

“Sure thing, wild woman,” Lou said, and gave Nick a look.

“You don’t get like this during a radstorm,” Nick said to her skeptically.

“Those are scary. And green. And they smell weird.” She stood. “Care to join me?”

“No way,” he laughed sardonically.

“You don’t like them?” Nora asked.

“Sweetheart, I’m electronics and metal— I’m a walking, talking lightning rod.”

“I’ll go!” Theo said.

Arlene tapped on his dish. “No, you finish— I don’t trust you to eat unsupervised.”

Nora smirked. “Maybe after you have _two_ helpings of greens, she’ll let you sit with me.”

The boys pleaded for more spinach, and Lou slowly applauded.

\---

Gavin and Theo were very agreeable for two rowdy farm children, but like any loose livestock they were near impossible to chase. Filled with after-dinner energy, they burst through the front door and went running into the rainstorm. Nora watched with confusion as the tailing duo of Meryl and Nick stopped dead in their tracks, like cats afraid of water.

Nick turned to the younger woman. “Meryl, go get the boys.”

“Um,_ no,_” she replied.

“That’s not very responsible for a parent,” he scolded.

“I’m a wonderful mom, but I’m not _their_ mom,” she said matter-of-factly. “Now excuse me, but my baby doesn’t like loud noises.” She returned indoors.

Nick chewed on some choice words that he swallowed. “_Egh._”

“I’ll get them,” Nora said, setting down her mostly finished plate.

“C’mon,” Nick disapproved.

“It’s partially my fault,” she said. “It’s not a big deal, anyway. It’s _just_ rain.”

“And mud.”

“_And mud_,” she mocked and patted his cheek.

“And light—“ There was a bone chilling rumble. The boys shrieked, then returned sobbing. “—ning.” Nick sighed as the soaked moppets clung to his coat. “_Now_ I understand why Meryl pawned them off on us.”

“For a guy who adopts people, you’re not very paternal,” Nora chided.

“I thank my stars that Piper doesn’t jump in my lap when things go boom.”

The boys continued crying and Nick looked at them awkwardly, unsure how to console anyone so young and irrational. “OK, OK, it’s_ just_ a noise,” he pleaded. “Stay inside and it—” Nora walked out into the muddy yard. “_Kid,_ what in the world—”

“I’ve been counting, it’s not even close,” she said. Nick groaned. “I’m far from the biggest lightning rod out here,” she shouted back. It was true. Aside from the broken radio tower, the place was laid out strategically to protect the fields from a heaven-sent brush fire.

She stood out in the rain for awhile as if in meditation. Nick realized the boys had stopped bawling and instead watched her with sniffles. They left his side in the doorway and sat cautiously on the porch steps. The synth hugged the wall, feeling as though his metal-boned presence would summon a bolt atop them.

Nora turned to the boys. “I want you to watch for the flash!” she called. “And then you’ll count with me.”

They nodded in tense concentration.

Nick felt something grab his arm and realized Yolanda had snuck up on him.

The old woman smiled. “Isn’t this nice?” she asked chipperly, and Nick wondered if she’d lost her sense to age. Yolanda looked out at the group, who now counted seconds between rumbles. “They say the Vault is the best place to live, because it’s controlled, predictable. But the surprises are what make it worth living. The wasteland takes, but it also provides.”

Nick continued watching Nora with anxiety. “It mostly takes.”

“Yes, but had my Nathan not disappeared, I wouldn’t be holding your arm right now. Had you not mucked up a case, had tragedy not befallen her, Nora wouldn’t be in yours every day. And she seems _so happy_ there.” She stared up at him, something nearly maternal despite being his junior. “Life goes on, in the face of everything.”

He remembered how Nora often remarked about hating loud noises, and he wondered if this odd meditative game of chicken under the pouring rain was more for her own fears than the boys’. Like she was trying to prove something to herself, too. Or even to him.

“Thirty-sev—” The chanting was cut off by another rumble.

“Oh, see?” Nora asked. “It’s _way_ farther now.”

“Come back, sweetie,” Yolanda called. “You taught your lesson.” She went out and nudged her grandsons with a cane. “You too, boys, you need to get ready for bed.”

Nora nodded and made her way to the porch. Yolanda patted Nick’s shoulder and went inside with Gavin and Theo.

“Just my luck,” Nick grumbled as Nora returned. “You made me a nervous wreck. As if I didn’t have it bad enough with the rain, and heat, and humidity.”

“I thought detectives loved when things got sultry,” Nora replied loftily.

“Huh?” He was confused, then gave a humorless laugh. “I ain’t built for any of it.”

“Oh c’mon, Nick,” she said as she got closer. “Can’t you feel it?”

“Feel what?”

Nora gazed up at him. “That tingle in your chest. Going out into your limbs and into your head. Does it feel like that?”

Nick took a step back. “I… I don’t feel things.”

“Oh, but I just…” She swallowed. “I thought since you’re electronics— You might feel the charge in the atmosphere—”

“Oh!” Nick chuckled, trying to come down to earth. “_Yeah_.” Nora smiled. “Yeah, I uh…” He lost himself again in her eyes. “I definitely feel something,” he said. “A tingle in my chest.”

“See? I told you.” She took hold of his coat. “You’re still human everywhere it counts.”

The sentiment nearly bowled him over. Another light flashed, and he noticed her counting under her breath even though she didn’t break her adoring gaze.

And he hugged her. Selfishly. Just to feel her.

“You’re cute,” he said. She made a small noise into his shoulder. “You’re gonna be a really great mom.”

Her fists clenched tighter. “Thanks.”

Nick could sense her trembling slightly, from either nerves, or the damp, or emotion, and it was almost too much. He pulled away and looked down at her.

“Now, let’s get inside,” he said. “You look like a wet rat.” She wrinkled her nose at him but obliged.

He had a new mess in his head. One that hopefully wouldn’t take another fifty years to figure out.

\---

The next day, after a late start where Nora learned why she shouldn’t say yes to Yolanda’s pancakes, they again restocked at Goldenrun. It had somehow expanded since their last visit.

After merging her old bullets into a fresh box, Nora took a deep inhale of the fragrant market air. “I want to try that sit-down restaurant on the corner.”

“You just ate a flapjack the width of a tire.”

“And then we walked. I want a snack.”

“You’ll have to go alone, then.”

“C’mon. It’s no fun without you.”

“Kid, how many times do I have to explain this,” he asked. “That’s not gonna fly here. I’m a stranger.”

“_I’m_ with you,” she said. “We only had, what, two bad run-ins—”

“This isn’t Boston proper, where they’re used to me skulkin’ around. A synth walks into a bar… everyone pulls a gun…” Nora huffed. “Yeah, _see?_” he accused. “You forgot reality for a sec. We got… wrapped up in thinking we were normal people for once.”

She could tell Nick was more upset than usual, because he wouldn’t look at her.

“If they don’t want you, I don’t want them either. I’ll just go over and buy a bahn mi for the road.”

“Alright, but don’t wander and get lost. I think this place grows a new street when I’m not lookin’.”

Nora nodded and hurried off around a corner. The line was brief, a simple assembly-line of a stall, and Nora quickly received and paid for her order.

“Ma’am?” called a voice to her right. A woman in a sunbonnet gestured to Nora. “I’m sorry, but could you take this paper out of my pocket? My fingers are stuck with honeycomb.”

Nora smiled with relief. “Sure.” She’d been half certain that someone might confront her about the company she kept. It was a small envelope sealed with wax. Nora studied it and tucked her sandwich into her pack. “Uh. Should I open it for you?”

“No. Keep it.” The woman turned heel.

Nora blinked. “Excuse me?”

“It’s for you,” she said between chews.

Nora noticed the bushel of curls coming from under the hat as the stranger walked away.

“Back to the real world,” Nora muttered, losing her appetite. For a moment everything felt so idyllic, without the human suffering and mortal peril. But that was how people got complacent.

She flattened up against an alley wall and opened Nomad’s envelope. A key was inside, along with a note.

[ _Pick up the dry cleaning. I left snacks in the pockets. The key’s the key. See you at church._ _Some ambrosia would be nice. _]

“Is this a joke, or a request?” she hissed. She wasn’t making Deacon an ambrosia salad, even if he personally brought Shaun to her arms.

\---

Nora returned to Nick’s side with a scowl. He blew out smoke. “You alright? Did someone upset you?”

She shook her head. “No. But I need to take a detour once we’re back in Boston.”

“Oh?”

“You-know-who is sending me on another errand,” Nora said and held up the envelope.

“Oh,” Nick replied with disdain.

“One day you’ll be able to go wherever the hell you want. No guns drawn, no dirty looks. That’s my promise to you.”

“And how are you so sure?”

“Because I’m going to make it happen.” She flipped the paper in her hands. “What’s life if I can’t have a peaceful lunch date with my best friend?”

He laughed, but she was dead serious.

“Your life’s purpose is way bigger than me, kid.”

“Then, for all synths,” she said quietly. “Besides, I want Shaun to grow up never knowing that anyone had a nasty thing to say about his uncle Nicky.”

Nick smiled. “Oh doll, you’re gonna make me cry.”

“I thought you couldn’t,” she teased, though still somber.

“With all the sweet things you say, I’m sure I’ll find a way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to stop making promises here because so much is out of my control and it just makes me feel terrible about leaving everyone hanging for so long. But I do have a huge buffer of pre-written content that just needs to be refined and put through an editing process. We're all taking it day by day. I hope you're well. Thanks for sticking with me.
> 
> Plugging [my main blog](http://television-for-dinner.tumblr.com/tagged/fic+stuff), my [my art/fanworks blog](http://tommytonebender.tumblr.com) where you can check my sidebar for more info about my work. I also have a [Writing Twitter](http://https://twitter.com/retr0vertig0) where you can occasionally see that I'm alive.


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